


Pediatrician!Reader x Father!Levi: Lovely Remedy

by SmexyLeviLover



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 00:23:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 35,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2408369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmexyLeviLover/pseuds/SmexyLeviLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader is a pediatrician who was cheated on by her ex fiance and boyfriend of 3 years. Everything around her in her old town reminded her of him, so she moved to the Trost City a few months ago and started at Trost Pediatrics with Dr. Marco Bott as her partner. She does her best to avoid reminders of the past and simply immerses herself in her work. The distractions help but they're slowly becoming repetitive and unbearable. Her life however takes a new turn when she meets a mysterious man by the name, <b>Levi.</b> </p><p>A very "slice of life" fanfiction that revolves around the reader as well as many other characters finding their own lovely remedies. No one's life is perfect, and we all face dilemmas. But in the end, we're the only ones capable of making our own happiness. </p><p>Hope you all enjoy the journey XD</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lovely Remedy PILOT Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a pilot chapter and not part of the series. The next chapters are part of the series :)

by SmexyLeviLover

_There were times you wanted to break. That's when you called him, when you needed someone to pull you back from the tides of blackness. Because once you were in the water, there was no getting out. You'd sink further and further into the depths, your body heavy as a lead anchor. That's why you needed something to crash into your train of thought, to keep you from drowning even further._

Your mind was going blank, just the way you liked it. You didn't need alcohol and drugs to reach the threshold of this infectious euphoria. All you had to do was call up that man who you met at a bar a few months ago. Yeah, it was _that_ cliche. 

He had this fine and precise control of his entire body that drove yours insane, your anxious figure wriggling with every pounding thrust. Sudden gasps were followed by your back arching, sweat gliding down your spine, and eyes fluttering open in a daze. Your vision cleared to reveal his broad chest sparkled with hot, gliding sweat, drops that felt like ice on your feverish body. Your eyes traveled upwards to meet his vision. Ah, those cat-like eyes made you feel as if your arteries would just collapse on each other. The way his hunched shoulders loomed over you and the way his dark, possessive eyes simply _observed_ you like a cat following a mouse made you shut you legs together, which served to only fuel the untamed carnivore inside him. He was the type that liked to play with his prey. And of course, your pleasure was derived from being the chased, the hunted. 

And you delved into an unhealthy indulgence when he caught you. You loved it when he wrenched you open. You craved the heavy pressure of his body atop you. His narrow, mysterious, almost villainous eyes ignited a brilliant light in your chest, your heart pumping so loudly that it could be heard without a stethoscope. It was like a heart attack.

It was like you were alive again. 

In the midst of your depression, the tides would drive your mind in spirals, uncontrollable, unpredictable. And when it felt like you were losing all control, he took it back for you. He led the way to shore, and you followed him. You were addicted to his control. When he pushed you up against the wall, your legs would almost cave in from the unbearable pleasure. If he tied your hands above the bed, you were moaning his name over and over again. And if you ever became too loud, then he found innovative ways to make use of the sheets and pillow covers. He made you beg for so much more. 

And you needed more. You felt yourself slipping back into this ocean of gloom and despair. 

"L-Levi," you struggled to breath out. "Faster," you commanded him. A few seconds of silence save for the sounds of the bed shaking passed before your brows furrowed. This wasn't the first time he ignored you. "Levi," you spoke as your nailed clenched into his shoulder. He groaned in response but refused to comply. Irked, you pinched harder. "You know, Levi, if you're not going to go hard enough, then I'd might as well-----!"

In a sudden movement, your stomach pressed against the sheets as your back now met the icy droplets of sweat falling from Levi's bangs, your face muffled by the satin pillow cover, effectively ceasing your useless banter. 

You see, for someone whose who could surely break every bone in your body, Levi was surprisingly particular about the situations he chose to demonstrate his strength. You knew he was capable of so much more, but he was adamant about how far he'd go with you. He was a gentle person. 

_Maybe that's why he was the therapy for your broken heart, at least until you had managed to glue the pieces together again._

Thus, the nightly excursion ended with breathless pants and wordless "goodnight's" as you rested in Levi's arms. And once again, you were cured of your insanity. Like every day, the morning sunrise greeted your cold body tangled in lonely sheets. You had been his for a night, treated like a precious jewel by someone once again even if it was only for a few hours. Everything felt okay again. You felt okay again. No longer were those dangerous thoughts circling your defenseless mind like sharks around fish bait. Levi had led you out of the depths, and now you were in the shallow end. You could make it to shore now.

_By yourself._

\--------------

"Dr. __(Last name)__, we have a patient for you in room 3," Ymir said as she handed you the patient chart. 

Your eyes skimmed over the name. "Isabelle...Ackerman? 10 years old, ear infection from swimming? You took her measurements, right?" you asked Ymir. A tan finger tapped on the back of the chart, signalling you to flip the page. You read over the numbers and flipped the page back over. "Alright, I'll be in room 3 if you need me."

Just as you were about to head down the infamous yellow brick road (a name of your own creation for the bright, sunny yellow tile leading to the patient rooms), a patient wailing loudly in room 1 halted you in your path. You groaned as you poked your head into the room, only to see your younger nurse Krista attempting to give a vaccination shot to a tantrum-throwing 8 year old. 

With a sigh, you held the door open as Ymir walked briskly into the room to take over for Krista. She yanked the kid from under the sink, threw him on the patient bed, and stuck the needle into his arm, all while the mother watched in horror as her child let out a blood-curling scream that turned into a surprised gasp when it was over. 

Satisfied with the result and without much time to spare, you left Exam Room 1 continued down your yellow brick road. Ymir was one of your prized nurses, but it was just a shame that half her time was spent babysitting Krista. At least they had each other to rely on, you supposed. As for you, it had been a while since you had reconnected with friends. They were part of a past that you shut out of your life purposely, people you had closed the door on. It wasn't as if you hated them or anything like that. It's just that when you saw them, you "saw" the ex-fiance who ripped your heart in two when you found him in bed with another woman. Now, months had passed, and your heart wasn't the same. You trusted no one, not even yourself. Every mirror you looked in, you counted another fault in yourself, adding to the list of reasons why your ex would have cheated on you. And as these faults accumulated and aggregated, your body felt heavier, sluggish. Walking on some days felt like wading through thick, waist-deep, murky sludge until eventually, it became too hard to climb out of bed. It hurt, everything hurt. 

And then you met _Levi._ He was a mysterious man you stumbled upon at a bar, still mysterious even now since both of you shared no personal information about each other, not even last names or professions. But even so, you entrusted your body to him and his to you. You never imagined you'd find yourself in a relationship for the casual sex, but it helped. The nights you spent with him cured you for the next week or so. He treated you kindly, more kindly than you treated yourself. It might have only been temporary relief, but it was relief. And maybe, one day you'd find the road to a permanent remedy for your broken heart.

Today was a better day than most. The water was only ankle deep, but there were no vines pulling you deeper. Your body was still sore from a few nights ago though, but drugs could always relieve that sort of pain. Pressing for a dollop of hand sanitizer, you quickly rubbed your hands before knocking on the door and entering Exam Room 3. 

"Hi Isabella, my name is Dr. __(Last name)__," you said as you introduced yourself to a little girl swinging her legs over the bed as she played with her red-haired pigtails. She looked up at you with almost no expression in her face, shocking you a bit. 

"My name is Izzy," she corrected you. She then returned to playing with her pigtails, ruining the precious buns of hair that her mother had probably put so much effort into perfecting. 

You tried to smile awkwardly at the young girl, but her attention was focused on anything other than you. Maybe it was because this was her first visit to your clinic? "Where's your mom or dad, Izzy?" you asked. 

"Outside on his phone."

Your brow furrowed with her aloof attitude. There was clearly a bigger issue than just a simple ear infection. Proceeding patiently, you questioned softly, "So how are you today, Izzy?" 

"My ear hurts."

"Yeah, the nurse told me. An infection from swimming, right? Do you like swimming?" 

"No, I hate it now," she replied as she stopped messing with her hair. Her small hands balled into fists. "I wanna go to the bathroom."

"Oh uhh, it's down the hall on your left." You pulled out a stair for Izzy to use to get down from the bed, but she jumped down on her own. With a troubled look on your face, you pointed her down to the nearest bathroom. She said "thank you" with a small voice and walked down. You stared on as she opened the bathroom door and went inside. Leaving the exam door slightly open, you massaged your temples. There were clearly things that Izzy didn't want to talk about, but hopefully, her parent would be more willing to explain the cold attitude.

You began taking notes in your chart as the door opened again. "Izzy, did your mom or dad come with you today?"

"Dad."

A familiar male voice reverberated in your ears as you spun around to meet his eyes. _Levi's_ eyes. 

"Levi?!" you gasped. Of all people, it had to be the one you were fucking on the side. But...then it suddenly hit you. To think he had a child? What about his wife? Did he have one?

Your throat clenched in a desperate struggle to search for the answer in his eyes. There was none. And once again, the sinking feeling began. The ankle-deep water was rising, the walls were closing in. Buried deep in your heart was the realization that the nights you spent with Levi were like living in a dream. When you were drowning, he was the life jacket that brought you back to the surface. He made you feel like you were the world to him in those few hours, and that's what saved you from doing harm to yourself. You wanted to keep living this dream, but reality had finally surfaced.

"My name is Levi Ackerman. I'm Izzy's father."

It was ridiculous to think that you could ever be important to someone. It was so ridiculous that there was barely anything to substantiate that thought. Your dream was a thin of sheet of ice, melting to reveal the very painful reality before your eyes. It was like the gear on your back that made you move had stopped turning. You were frozen. You were broken. Again. 

You set your pen down and shakily offered a hand. "My name is Dr. __(Full name)__. I'm your daughter's new pediatrician."

It was your fault for never fully realizing,

You weren't his. And he wasn't yours. Those nights spent together were spent behind closed doors. And this was reality, an open window.

You were living in a cruel reality. 

And that distorted dream world finally collapsed

_In the depths of black tides._

"Nice to meet you."

\--------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS.

What does depression feel like to you? Does it feel like your sinking? Does it feel like your choking? Do you think some nights with Levi would help? Huehuehue.

So I know yall are thinking, IS LEVI A SINGLE PARENT?!?!

And well, the answer lies in the next chapter. But if you've read anything from me, then you already know the answer. :) (That, AND if I've discussed the plot with you or if you read any of the journals I posted with the summary of this fic, then you already know the answer too lololol.)

P.S. This is based on personal feelings and experiences that I don't wish to delve into, mostly the depression lol. I've never had a fiance.

PLEASE lemme know if you liked it XD ahh, nervous haha.


	2. Lovely Remedy 1: Cura te ipsum

Chapter 1. Cura te ipsum

How is it that the words of a 21 year old kid could reverberate in your head for months? _Six months_ to be exact. You left Shiganshina and moved to Trost City for the sake of forgetting the ass of an ex fiance who cheated on you. You wanted to start anew, but what exactly was so different now from when you found out about his infidelity?

Hah, not much. 

Yet again, you were spending another late night at the office thinking over Eren's irritating, parting words. The 21 year old Business major took one philosophy class, and he thought he had the right to comment on _your_ abilities? Well, that was Eren for you. He epitomized the saying, "The less you know something, the more stubbornly you know it." And Eren was about as stubborn as a mule. 

Perhaps you spoiled him too much in childhood. You both were about 7 years apart in age but grew up together as neighbors. Maybe that's why he felt as if he had the right, the right to comment on how hopelessly useless you were at fixing yourself and the irony of it all. 

"Stupid brat," you muttered jadedly. 

Four years of undergraduate education, four years of medical school, and three years of Pediatric Residency was the amount of time you spent learning how to treat and cure others, but no amount of textbook knowledge and clinical practice could have prepared you to cure your own heartbreak. 

How many more days, weeks, months would pass where you simply immersed yourself in work to forget about your previous relationship? It wasn't a question you couldn't answer unfortunately. You sighed and continued typing at the keyboard, reading over the various patient files on your computer screen. 

Suddenly, the overhead lights flickered on. 

"Working in the dark is bad for your eyes, Dr. [Last]," Marco, your partner and senior pediatrician, advised. He walked around your desk and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, passing you a steaming coffee. You accepted gratefully as you did everything he gave you. 

Marco, or rather Dr. Bott, was the type of person who just knew what you needed when you needed it and successfully delivered it. That's what made him a good doctor and why you respected him as your senior partner. It's also why it was so easy to open up to him when you first started at Trost Pediatrics.  

You told him about the pain of being cheated on by your fiance and boyfriend of 3 years and that the pain had slowly dissipated. Unfortunately though, the thoughts of what went wrong and what could have been were reoccurring. It was no longer about missing your ex; it was about missing a part of yourself.

"Cura te ipsum," you mumbled to yourself. You washed your tiredness away with the bitter coffee and continued scanning the patient history box on your monitor.

"Come again?" Marco said. You blinked in realization that you had said that aloud.

"Ah, whoops," you said. " _Medice, cura te ipsum._ A friend of mine told me this. It means, 'You, doctor, cure thyself.'"

"Oh, you mean to treat yourself before treating patients?" 

You gave away a sad smile. "More like, 'Attend to your own _defects_ before trying to treat other's.'"

Dr. Bott took a moment to think over it. "Was this in relation to your ex?" he asked softly, squeezing your shoulder. 

You returned his gesture with a more genuine smile. "More or less."

"Well, I'm sure you'll be feeling better in no time. And when the time's right, you'll find a guy who's much more deserving of you, [First]. You and me both will find great guys to date." 

You stifled a small giggle as Marco inadvertently revealed his sexuality.

"Ack, I mean, partners. Haha, we'll find our respective partners in no time," Marco hurriedly corrected himself. A blush gathered on his cheeks, and he took this as his cue to leave. "See you tomorrow, [First]! Drive home safely!"

"Thanks, Marco," you replied as you held back a smirk. As he turned the corner, you wondered if you should have told Marco that you already knew he was gay, but seeing as how dutifully he kept it a secret from everyone at work, you figured he wasn't ready to admit his new relationship with the supplies transporter, Jean Kirstein. 

Of course, it's not like Marco being gay was some sort of big secret. Everybody knew. He followed all the stereotypes, the flamboyant office of flowers and decor, the well-primmed nails that were a stark contrast from your quite plain and unpolished bits, and a singing voice that could honestly rival that of Sam Smith (for the few times you had secretly heard him sing in the small lounge area at the back). Of course, it wasn't like you to judge someone based on stereotypes, even when Ymir, the lesbian Nurse, claimed he rung up her gaydar. 

What really hit the nail on the head was one night when you stayed overtime until the evening and caught a bit of a rendezvous between the two men in the front desk. Upon sighting, you silently made way for the exit through the waiting room but not before throwing Jean a thumbs-up, which he returned with a silent salute of gratitude. It became a mutual understanding between you both that the night's happenings would never be spoken of, aloud and in public at least. 

Marco Bott, M.D. In a relationship with Jean Kirstein, supplies transporter. A _secret_ affair. 

A stifled laugh, following by a lagging sigh.

It's not like you judged him for the late night scandal. In fact, it wouldn't be unreasonable to even call yourself... _bitter._

Your days were filled with repetitive work of briefing, patient visits, dictations, and paperwork. You enjoyed the patient interactions of course. Kids were never a bore, especially the blunt ones, but clinic closed at 5 pm, and all that was left was scrolling through and organizing patient files, anything that filled your time until the late evening. It was a diversion nonetheless, but a very boring and tiring distraction, one that you could probably do faster if you really put some effort in. What was the point though? The only thing to greet you when you left the office was an empty home. 

And you hated it. 

_Ding._

You turned your iPhone over. A text from your mother read, "Call me."

You rolled your eyes and stuffed your phone into your pocket. It was 8 pm and time to go, otherwise your nosy mother would definitely scold you again. Standing up from your chair, you quickly stuffed your laptop and files into your bag and readied to leave. You pushed the chair back and heard a sharp thud. Peering back, you found a small cardboard box, one that you had probably forgotten to unpack. 

And looking inside reminded you why. You found a dusty photo frame of your ex, maybe something that you couldn't force yourself to throw away a few months ago but now you wanted nothing to do with it. You locked the office doors and found a trashcan near the elevators, dropping the frame and hearing a satisfactory _crack_ of the glass. 

Good riddance to the bastard. 

Slipping into the parking elevators, you pressed the button for the 7th floor and dialed your mom to get this over with. It's not like you disliked her concern; it's just that she was overly-concerned about you, and you were already a 28 year old woman, not a child who your mother needed to fret over. 

"Hey Mom."

"..."

"Yeah, I'm doing good."

"..."

"Yes, I ate lunch."

"..."

"No, I'm going home to eat dinner."

"..."

"Yeah." 

"..."

"Yeah." 

"..."

"No. "

"..."

"Wait, Dad wants to do _what_ to my ex?"

"..."

"Please don't."

"..."

"Okay. Okay. I'll take care. Love you too, Mom."

_Click_

You hung up and heaved a long, heavy sigh. 

Parents. Can't live with them and surely can live without them, but at least they were still here. Maybe you should have asked them if they had heard from Eren in a while. Ever since his mother passed away about a month ago, he had been refusing your calls and not responding to your texts and voicemails. 

He hadn't even told you that his mother was terminally ill with cancer before you left. After finding out about the passing of Ms. Jaeger, or rather Ms. Bradley as Eren's parents had divorced a few years ago, you started to wonder if moving to Trost was really the right choice. It would have been better if you could have been there for him physically since his father was too busy running the Jaeger Children's Hospital in Trost. However, work didn't allow for any trips. And then there was also the fact that you didn't want to run into your ex. 

You sighed again. Somehow, all your thoughts gradually shifted towards your ex, and you just wanted one night to keep your mind off that horrid relationship. 

Shifting your attention to the area in front of you, you peered around at the warm orange and almost completely empty parking garage. Your car was not in sight. 

'Hmm...maybe it was the 6th floor instead,' you thought as you ran by the elevators again. You walked out and once again, didn't see your car. A chilling air lifted the hairs on your arms as another car drove by you, a black Chevrolet Camaro. You ignored the way it slowed down as it passed you and shot a glance to the scenery beyond the parking garage balcony. 

The moon was already loud and proud in the sky, and there was a certain eeriness about being alone in a parking garage that made you want to find your car as fast as possible. 

'Okay, so maybe the 2nd floor?' You jumped out of the elevators just as quickly as you had jumped in and scanned the 2nd level. No luck. 

"This is ridiculous," you groaned as you started walking back to the elevators. You figured you'd start from the from the 10th floor to find you car. "Absolutely ridiculous."

As you made your way to the elevators, a slow _vrooming_ noise sounded in your ears. You turned back and yet again, it was the black Camaro.  

The car slowed near you, but you walked briskly without glancing up. You had heard stories about garage incidents but never thought that something could happen to you. A small sweat ran down the side of your temple. Nope, you weren't going to be abducted today. Just a few more meters until you reached the elevator. 

"You need a ride to find your car?"

A deep voice settled into your heart as you halted and looked back at the Camaro. The passenger window was pulled down, a man at the driver's seat. 

The man took note of your utterly confused expression with an eyebrow raise. 

"I asked if you wanted a ride around the garage to help you find your car."

"Oh...well..."

Well, at least he didn't _look_ like a pervert. In fact, he didn't look half bad, a chiseled, clean jaw with dark grey and deep set eyes. His eyebrows knit together at your silence. He didn't seem to enjoy silence based on his bored expression. 

You eyed the inside of his car and saw a doctor's coat in the back. That _possibly_ warranted that he wasn't going to abduct you, right?

"It's fine if---"

"Wait! Um, I'd actually really appreciate it if you'd be willing to take me around to find my car!" 

Shuffling into the passenger seat, you clicked your seatbelt on and glanced at the coat. You couldn't read the name properly since it was folded neatly. 

"So you work here?" you asked.

"Huh?"

You pointed to the coat. 

"That's my cousin's. He left it there earlier by accident, so I just came by to drop it off."

"Oh...What does your cousin do?"

He shrugged his shoulders whimsically. "Whatever he wants to do apparently since he thinks he can go around and leave his shit in my car."

You smothered your mouth over your arm to hold back a giggle, but there wasn't much you could do to hide your appreciation for the witty remark. Looking to the side, you could have sworn you caught the hint of a smirk before the man said,

"Hey, come on now. Keep your eyes in front so we can find your car. I still have to return his coat after this."

"Right," you chuckled as you clutched the bag in your lap and looked forward. The third floor was no luck, and the fourth just seemed dismal with its barren parking spots. 

"This is looking bad," you mumbled.

"Tell me about it. I have a beauty in my car and our date's in a crummy parking garage."

Your eyes shot wide open at his statement. "So when did this turn into a date Mr...?"

"Levi," he followed smoothly. 

"[First]." You relaxed a little bit in the seat. "You think we can get some music, Levi? I don't know how long this 'date' is going to be."

He leaned over to turn on the radio. "Depends on how long it takes for you to---"

_"SO IT'S GONNA BE FOREVER,_

_OR IT'S GONNA GO DOWN IN FLAMES._

_YOU CAN TELL ME WHEN IT'S OVER,_

_IF THE HIGH WAS WORTH THE PAIN."_

You cringed in pain as did Levi who quickly turned the volume knob on low. 

"Taylor Swift?"

"I did not fucking set that radio."

"Of course you didn't." It was your turn to shine him a cheeky grin, but he paid no heed and switched the station to something a bit more pleasing on the ears. 

"Jazz?" you asked.

"I have a fondness for elevator music."

The soft, velvet sound filled the silence as you searched left and right for your car. Levi yawned into the palm of his large hand, and you glanced at the bags under his eyes.

"Missed out on the morning coffee?"

"Tch. Coffee is for people who don't have taste buds."

You laughed. "Coffee is a bitter necessity for people like me unfortunately. Early days, long hours...thought I don't mind switching it for tea when I have the chance."

He hummed lightly. "Now tea, that's a whole other story."

"So Tea Lover, have you tried the cafe on Lake Street?'

His interest piqued, he turned to face you, and you watched as the light hit half his face, defining the very handsome features that suddenly made your stomach curl in an almost intoxicating way. You bit your lip lightly.

"No, I haven't. I'm new to the area," Levi replied. 

"It's really good. The owner, Mike, has the best black tea, and oh, wait! That's my car!"

Your grey Acura MDX stood alone in a row of 30 parking spots. You could almost face-palm yourself now. The 5th floor. Go figure. You quickly grabbed your stuff and looked back at the Levi. 

"You didn't have to go out of your way for me. I really would have had been stuck in this garage until my next shift tomorrow morning."

"Then I guess I'd have to take you home." The smirk on his lips hinted another intention, and suddenly, the desire to flirt back bubbled inside you. 

"My home or your home?" you asked with a sliver of a sly smile painted on your features. 

Levi's torso was twisted to face you and only then did an agonizing ache to grasp his hips course through your body. 

"Your choice," he said. 

A soft laugh followed by a brief pause was shared between you two. Was this really the last time you'd see him?

"Is there any way I can thank you?" you suddenly inquired. "Lunch? Dinner? A Taylor Swift album?"

You bit the insides of your cheeks because Levi did exactly what you wanted him to do. He pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation, and there was a part of you that made you feel as if you won by getting a reaction out of him.

Levi's hand then shuffled in his pocket as he took out his phone and tossed it to you. You fumbled a bit but caught it (thankfully). 

"The cafe this Friday. When are you off work?"

"8 pm."

"Great, I'll pick you up here, then."

"Wait, I'm supposed to be taking you out for tea to thank you and you're picking me up?" you said incredulously as you saved your number in his Contacts. You grinned with apparent amusement. It was embarrassing just how exciting this encounter was to you. 

"I'm not letting a person who can't find her own damn car drive me," Levi countered flawlessly and with maybe a hint of sass, and you had no choice but to accept.

"Touché." 

Fingers gripping the strap of your bag, you blushed a bit more nervously than you would have liked as you handed Levi back his phone. He texted you his name, so you'd have his number as well.  

He glanced once at his phone and then looked back up at you. "Well then, au revoir, Mademoiselle." 

Your mouth nearly dropped when you heard the slight accent. You knew it was fake, but it didn't change the fact that it was incredibly sexy. Your ears rang with his voice, and it was almost impossible for you to turn away with the way he was looking at you and only you. You felt ensnared in a hunter's trap except you weren't struggling to get out. You struggling to stay aboard. 

It wasn't until you were back in your car that you realized that you'd been holding your breath. 

"Oh my god," you breathed out. 

A part of you wondered what just happened and how in the world you managed to score a date with a total stranger. You were too old for your heart to be beating this fast, too old to be this frazzled up about a small cafe shindig. 

But a night spent with undisturbed sleep that wasn't taunted with the thoughts of your previous relationship was better late than never. 

\----------------------------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Chapter 2. Sexual Encounters - coming out on Tuesday X3


	3. Lovely Remedy 2: Sexual Encounters

Chapter 2. Sexual Encounters

You'd never felt as much a woman as you did under (or over) Levi. It was amazing how much strength he had given his smaller than average stature, but that was really all that was small. 

It was Thursday evening, a rare evening for both you and Levi to be available but one that you planned to enjoy in ecstasy. 

You doubled locked the door of the hotel room and turned to meet Levi's hot breath on your neck as he pinned you against the cold wall. His fingers quickly worked to drag your work pants down as you ran your hands over his sculpted abs. 

"Impatient? you breathed out as he lifted you. 

"A bit. I don't have much time to stay," he answered curtly, quickly dropping you on the bed and climbing over your aching frame. Two nights in a row was probably a bit much given how "enthusiastic" the nights you spent with Levi were, but you really wanted this.

"Sorry for calling you on such short notice."

"It's fine. I was going to call you tomorrow, but something came up."

Your lips brushed against each other softly before descending into almost a bruising pressure of effort to dominate. It was an understatement to say he drove you insane. Rather, he drove your mind completely blank, a milk white blankness that was filled with nothing but euphoric ecstasy. 

The blinding pleasure made it easier to ignore the awkward excuses on the days one or both of you couldn't make it. They were awkward because they were generally lies, and both of you knew it. It's just that neither of you called the other out. There was a silent understanding of ambiguity between the two of you, certain topics that neither of you went into like professions, family life, or anything personal. 

It made you wonder how either of you couldn't doubt the other. Maybe it was age that made the two of you comfortable with the vagueness of this entire relationship. It wasn't all sex, or at least, it hadn't started out this way. It's just that getting tea at the cafe was harder than expected since both of you had busy mornings and turned into "drinks at a bar" instead. Who knows how many drinks it took for both of you to end up in the same bed? 

Probably not many given how well your bodies molded together between the sheets. All that really mattered now was the fact that neither of you disliked the current relationship, wanting nothing more and nothing less.

"L-Levi," you struggled to breath out. "Faster," you commanded him. 

So maybe there were a few more things you wanted. It's not like Levi couldn't comply. It's just that sometimes he preferred not to and it more or less irritated you. 

Levi had heard you loud and clear, but all that filled the air was silence save for the sounds of the bed shaking. Your brows furrowed. This wasn't the first time he ignored you. 

"Levi," you spoke as your nail clenched into his shoulder. He groaned in response, sweat drizzling from his hair to the valley between your breasts, but refused to comply. Irked, you pinched harder. "You know, Levi, if you're not going to go hard enough, then I'd might as well-----!"

In a sudden movement, your stomach pressed against the sheets as your back now met the icy droplets of sweat falling from Levi's bangs. Your face was muffled by the  cotton pillow cover, effectively ceasing your useless banter. 

"Tch." 

You felt Levi's hands claw into your skin as he sucked on the sweet spot near your shoulder blade, causing you to moan in a pleasurable discomfort. 

You see, for someone whose who could surely break every bone in your body, Levi was surprisingly particular about the situations he chose to demonstrate his strength. You knew he was capable of so much more, but he was adamant about how far he'd go with you. 

He was a gentle person when you needed it most, and the times you needed to feel like a woman were the times you doubted yourself and your abilities. In one night, he was able to make you forget about your shortcomings. And you could stand in front of a mirror the next day without finding another fault or reason why your ex cheated on you. 

Though it felt as if he completed the part of you that you were missing, Levi was just a temporary fix. If the glue ever fell apart as it did many times, the next night's excursion would again throw you into a drug-induced state of overflowing pleasure. 

'That's about all this relationship amounts to,' you thought as you gripped the sheets and finally lost yourself under his broad chest. 'A more exciting distraction than work.'

But that's where you were wrong, and you knew you were wrong too. The relationship only amounted to what you wanted out of it, and at the moment, you were scared of commitment. The scars of your previous relationship weren't fresh, but even if you pulled the scabs off, there was still raw skin underneath. The pain of another break up wasn't something you could handle right now. 

And so you sacrificed commitment for comfort, and Levi easily adapted to whatever you wanted. He wasn't the type to pry, and that part of him relaxed you.

Your trembling body slowly began to feel sluggish as it sank further and further into the soft sheets, your mind drifting off into a well-deserved slumber after dealing with the stress of thinking too hard and too long about why you were cheated on, how it happened, and whether it was even real or not. 

For the sake of sleep, you decided it wasn't real. 

Laying you face-up, Levi slipped the covers over your bare body and showered quickly before getting dressed. After buttoning his coat, he lifted his chin as he pulled on his navy blue tie and looked back at your sleeping figure. Watching your body rise up and settle down gave Levi a small bit of relief. You always looked so exhausted that he wondered where you even had the energy to sleep with him, let alone ask for more. 

He figured you would tell him when you wanted to, if you wanted to, and peered down at his golden watch. He had a staff meeting in about 45 minutes, mostly concerning Oluo's inability to speak to the guests at the front desk without biting his tongue. Maybe a mouth guard would help. 

Levi reluctantly tore his gaze away from you and headed out, the smell of your body still lingering under his nose as he drove off from the parking lot. 

Hours of the night passed until morning, when a loud ringing jolted you awake. Your hand patted the nightstand by your side as you grabbed for your cell phone. 

"Hello?" you said with a raspy voice.

"Hello?" a booming voice replied, or rather, one that made your heart go _ka-boom_ and not in a good way. "[First]? Did I wake you up?"

You swerved your head over the edge of the bed to glance at the clock on the nightstand. 6:30 am. Whew, you could still make it to work on time. 

Clearing your slightly hoarse, "after-sex" throat, you responded, "No, Dr. Smith. What can I do for you?"

Dr. Erwin Smith, Pediatric Heart Surgeon and Chair of the Pediatric Department. It was rare for him to give you a call. The two of you mostly spoke through staff when you needed to refer some of your patients to Dr. Smith. And though you both had each other's personal numbers, your communication with him directly was quite standard and simply consisted of briefing Dr. Smith about the case and explaining your initial findings. 

Did he perhaps need some clarification? 

He cleared his own voice before speaking. "My cousin and niece recently moved to the area. She went swimming a little while ago and has had an ear ache for a little while since. Would you mind seeing her today?"

You ran through Friday's schedule in your head. You could probably ask your staff to fit her somewhere between Sally and Naomi. 

"Is 3 pm good?"

"That's great. Thank you, [First]."

"My pleasure, Dr. Smith."

He chuckled from the other end of the line. "As I've told you before [First], you can call me Erwin."

"But..."

"But if you feel more comfortable with Dr. Smith, that's fine."

You sighed in relief. Dr. Smith was at least a decade older than you, perhaps more even though he didn't look it, not to mention, he was the Chair of the department. It didn't feel right to refer to him by his first name. "Thank you, sir. I'm looking forward to meeting your niece."

"I'm sure you'll like her. See you then, [First]."

You waited for him the end the call before stretching your arms above your head and rolling back your shoulders. Your body ached a bit from the night's endeavors, but it was worth it. Frizzy hair and a body of sweat with the smell of Levi lingering over you felt hot and exciting. It had been so long since you felt like this, and a small smile graced your lips as your chest heaved up and down in pure, gentle bliss.  

In that moment, a brief thought passed over your head. Dr. Smith was quite the handsome fellow. His broad shoulders fit well in his doctor's coat and his blonde hair and sharp masculine features were said to make all the ladies swoon. You weren't as impressed as he was a bit older than you, but your curiosity was piqued as you wondered what his cousin and niece would look like. 

The image of a blonde beauty with curves and a child like a porcelain doll is what came to mind. 

\-----------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Chapter 3. Blank Space (coming out on Friday!)

Haha, any ideas as to who Erwin's cousin is? Any ideas who the niece is? X3


	4. Lovely Remedy 3: Blank Space

Chapter 3. Blank Space 

"I'm old enough to stay in the house alone."

"No, you're not, brat. And wear your seatbelt."

A young redhead pouted in the backseat of Levi's car but reluctantly slid her seatbelt over her chest, holding the end between her torso and forearm. 

Levi shot her a glance from the driving seat, and she still refused. 

"Isabelle Ackerman. Wear your seatbelt _now._ "

Startled by what she often referred to as her father's "angry voice", she finally clicked the belt in and crossed her small arms over her chest. "You don't need to leave me with Grandma and Grandpa. I can stay at the house by myself."

"I was working last night until 4 am. That's too late to leave you alone."

"You used to leave me alone with your ex, and that's practically the same as leaving me alone at the house."

Levi gave his daughter a dark, scolding glare. "My ex is still your mother, Isabelle."

"I hate being called Isabelle. I want to be called Izzy."

Levi sighed as he drove away from Izzy's school parking lot. "You have a doctor's appointment today. She's one of Erwin's friends. Her name is Dr. [Last]."

"I hope she's not as ugly as the lady on your phone."

"What?" Levi's car braked abruptly at a red light, and he looked back towards his daughter whose eyes shifted to the side. "You looked through my phone?"

Izzy's face was pulled up. "So? You're dating her, right? She's ugly."

Levi shook his head with the weariness of an old man as the light turned green. "What do you think of your mother then?"

"She's the ugliest of them all."

"Hey--"

"Also," Izzy interrupted. "Can you and Uncle Erwin not stand next to me? Last time you both came to my school's open house, everyone kept asking me if I have two dads."

"You're going to have to talk to your Uncle Erwin about that. He doesn't have a daughter so he likes to spoil you. Too much in my opinion. I think he was the most excited out of all of us when we moved here from Sina Town."

"You two look so different. I don't even understand how you guys are cousins."

"You and me both, kiddo."

"Maybe we can convince him to dye his hair black? Or Dad, why don't you go blonde?"

Levi turned the corner and drove down Lake Street. He would have stopped by the cafe, but they were already running late for Izzy's appointment. "I tried it when I had those cartilage piercings before you were born." 

"Why didn't you keep it?"

"Your mom liked it black."

Izzy became quiet all of a sudden and took out her phone to play Bejeweled while Levi silently sighed to himself. He knew why the conversation had come to a halt. 

Izzy hated conversations about her mother because her mother had left them four years ago. She disappeared without a trace and left Levi to raise a 6 year old Izzy by himself. 

A bitter taste filled his mouth when Levi remembered his ex. She left him a mess, took all their savings and completely ditch their child and him. Levi was forced to take on extra hours at work to support the two of them, and luckily, Izzy's maternal grandparents stepped in to care for her on days when he couldn't come home on time. 

Back then and even now sometimes, those weren't the only days he couldn't come home on time. There were some days when Levi just lost himself completely, and that wasn't the image he wanted to show Izzy, so he'd leave her with her grandparents until he could ensure that he wouldn't break in front of the only daughter he had. 

Life had become easier recently though. It was pure luck that his uncle and aunt, Erwin's very rich and very powerful parents, had an opening as a hotel manager at Trost. Levi had been working at the Smith Hotel branch in Sina Town but now had an opportunity to transfer to a city that was closer to Izzy's grandparents. 

Luck probably wasn't the correct word to describe all that Levi owed his uncle and aunt. About 10 years back when Izzy's mom had accidentally gotten pregnant with their child, they allowed him to work his way up from bellhop to hotel manager.  And now that they were travelling the world to set up international Smith Hotel branches, they trusted Levi to run their main branch at Trost. 

"We often wished that our Erwin could have succeeded the Smith Hotel business, but it seems he found happiness elsewhere," his uncle had joked, "Not to mention, you're much better at laying down the law with our employees, Levi. Erwin's too much of a pushover. But you, you really know how to whip them into shape!" 

'Laying down the law, huh?' Levi thought to himself. "I wonder if Oluo fixed his tongue-biting problem," he mumbled. 

"Probably not," Izzy answered as she pressed the keys of her phone mercilessly, determined to beat her dad's high score. "Hey Dad, could you turn the radio to 88.1?"

"Yeah." Levi pushed the knob for the radio on and turned up the volume for his daughter.

_"Got a list of ex-lovers"_

_"They'll tell you I'm insane"_

_"But I've got a blank space baby"_

_"And I'll write your name."_

\----------

"God my back hurts," you groaned at your desk. 

A flutter of black hair poked into your office. "Tell me about it," Dr. Bott commented. "It's been a long day."

You chuckled. "Well, it's almost over. Just a few more patients."

Dr. Bott nodded and went on his way to see his next patient. Meanwhile, you attended to your own work. A knock sounded at your door and you gave a loud and clear response. 

"What's the password?"

"I have coffee," a smooth, feminine voice answered.

You grinned as your head nurse Ymir entered and handed you a steaming mocha. One sip was enough to win the battle against the darn cold air conditioner and warmed your insides. 

"Gosh this is really good," you sighed in bliss, letting your head tilt back in a giddy manner. 

"My pleasure, madam," Ymir answered in a teasing, suave voice. "By the way, I dunno if you've noticed but..." She leaned in close to your ear. "Marco's ringing a 9 out of 10 on my gaydar. I bet he had sex with Jean last night." She raised her eyebrows in a suggestive manner and you almost spit out your drink.

"Ymir! Shush! There are children in this office!" you scolded her. 

"Psh. Whatever. So what's up? Why does your back hurt? You get some last night too?" she smirked.

And you inadvertently blushed. What a mistake. 

Ymir's mouth opened wide like an "O" before she caught herself. She immediately descended into her regular, nose-poking ways, but you needed to keep her away from the ammunition. 

"Holy _shit_! Who the fuck did you sleep with, [First]?" she interrogated as she playfully shoved you.

"N-no one." You brought the mocha to your lips, hoping that it'd somehow hide the smile that was playing on your lips. 

"Was it Erwin? Is that why he's asking you to see his niece? To get another excuse to see your pretty face and get his horny hands into your pants? I was pretty surprised when you told us to fit his niece in. _He_ your secret lover?"

"Oh my god, Ymir. Stop. No!"

Your face blushed with embarrassment as Ymir looked on in an amused manner. She was definitely one of the strangest people you had ever worked with but also the most honest and perhaps even refreshing in that way. She was very...direct with her thoughts. "Blunt" would probably be a good word to describe her with. The tan skinned beauty was also obsessed with chatting about sex-related topics, maybe because she loved to see people's reactions when doing so.

Speaking of beauty, here's the thing. Ymir was a lesbian, but she attracted male and female all the same. When her crude mouth wasn't yapping up a storm that could blow you into Blush City, she actually looked really elegant, even handsome from certain angles. Despite her crass nature, she definitely has this sort of chivalrous character which might have been why she was known for turning all the ladies gay.

(Just kidding.)

But really though, she was definitely someone who you respected. She was good at her job, and surprisingly, kids really enjoyed her company. Maybe it was because she was almost like a kid herself sometimes. 

And another thing -- position never mattered to her.

No, not sex position, but rather _professional_ hierarchy. 

She respected you, or rather disrespected you, all the same, whether you were the patient, the nurse, the doctor. She was definitely much kinder to people she liked more though, which is what made you question whether or not she liked you given how much she was teasing you and taking enjoyment in it. 

A high pitched shriek that sounded from one of the patient rooms startled you both. 

"Vaccines?" you asked.

"Yeah, and Sally isn't good with needles. She's probably hiding behind the patient bed again," Ymir sighed as she stood tall and headed to the door. "You better tell me all the dirty details later," she grinned before she left. 

A wash of relief closed over your body as you leaned back in your chair. 

'Geez, that was embarrassing,' you thought as you downed the rest of the mocha. You already knew that Ymir wouldn't scold the other nurse, Krista, for not being able to give a simple vaccine without issues. You often wondered why Ymir gave the shorter blonde so many breaks, and the thought that perhaps Ymir liked Krista had crossed your mind. Still, that wouldn't make any sense. Last you heard, Krista was dating some other guy. 

You sat back up and checked your emails. Your next patient would be coming in soon. 

Your eyes closed for what seemed like seconds, but when another knock sounded at your door, you realized it had been 20 minutes.

"Dr. [Last], Erwin's niece is in room 3," Ymir said as she handed you the patient chart. 

Your eyes skimmed over the name. "Isabelle...Ackerman? 10 years old, chief complaint of ear ache that started after swimming? You took her measurements, right?" you asked Ymir. A tan finger tapped on the back of the chart, signaling you to flip the page. You read over the numbers and flipped the page back over. "Alright, I'll be in room 3 if you need me."

You adjusted your doctor's coat and made sure your badge was facing straight before closing your office door. Ymir placed a heavy hand on your shoulder and whispered slyly,

"And by the way, Erwin said he's running a little late in surgery, but he'll still drop by."

You rolled your eyes and groaned, speed-walking away from your teasing nurse. You heard her giggle and looked back suspiciously, but she whistled away without even giving you an iota of a glance. 

You walked through the hall of patient room and stopped by Exam Room 3. Pressing for a dollop of hand sanitizer, you quickly rubbed your hands before knocking at the door and entering. 

A young girl with red pigtails was already sitting on the exam table, swinging her legs over the edge. She turned in your direction. You quickly noted that she wasn't smiling. In fact, her face immediately turned sour.

"Hi Isabelle, my name is Dr. [Last]," you introduced yourself with a reassuring smile. You looked off to the side to find her guardian but was directed by a familiar, deep voice. 

"[First]?"

That voice made your chest clench.

"Levi?"

Your mouth nearly dropped when you saw the raven-haired man seated in the guest corner in full suit garb and whatnot, right knee bent over his left leg with a brightly colored magazine between his fingers. This was a joke, right? Levi? In your office? A _father?_

His eyes held just as much shock as yours, and you had no words to break the silence. Your feelings mixed in a cauldron that smoked vapors, and these vapors blurred the lines between reality and dream. This had to be a dream, or a nightmare rather, is what you told yourself.

Another knock at the door told you otherwise as Dr. Erwin Smith entered the exam room, his tie carelessly flopped behind his shoulder and his blonde hair tousled in a way that told you just how much effort he had put into getting here on time. 

"Hi [First]," he panted. He quickly collected himself and smiled big. "I wanted to introduce you to my cousin and niece, Levi Ackerman and his daughter, Izzy."

You looked between Dr. Smith, Levi, and Isabelle, and in the midst of your panicked mindset which struggled to maintain composure, something peculiar dawned on you. 

Blonde didn't run in the family.

\----------------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Haha, the ending sentence is a reference to the end of chapter 2 where the reader imagines Erwin's cousin and niece as a big-busted, beautiful blonde with a child like porcelain. Instead, she gets smooth and sexy Levi and mini ruffian Izzy. XD

I keep laughing too hard when I imagine Levi and Izzy in a car blasting Taylor Swift music like //icant XD

And yeah Levi and Izzy don't have an easy past either. :'( Can any of you already guess why Izzy hates the reader? It wasn't stated explicitly in the fanfic but yes, it's related to the picture she saw on Levi's phone!

And the chapter title LOL. Now yall know who previously set the radio when Levi picked the reader up from the garage in chapter 1! XD Oh how wonderful full-circle things are hahaha!

Any comments? Suggestions? Questions? Lemme know and hope you enjoyed :)

Chapter 4. The text (to be released on Tuesday!)


	5. Lovely Remedy 4: The text

Chapter 4. The text

"I don't like her."

Isabelle had to repeat those words for everyone to understand, including you.

"I. Dont. Like. Her," she emphasized. "I wanna leave."

Erwin used a gentle hand to rub Isabelle's back. "Now, now, Izzy. Dr. [Last] is just going to check your ears and see if you need medication."

"No," she said adamantly. Her arms crossed over her chest as she sat still and strong as a stone. She shot a menacing glare in your direction that gave you goosebumps. Her green eyes very much resembled those of the raven-haired man on days when he hadn't had his daily cup of tea. Without a doubt, she was Levi's child. 

Your first instinct was to run away. "Dr. Smith, could we speak outside for a moment?"

He nodded and followed after you. Your back was towards him and you tried to recollect yourself with a deep breath before turning around. 

"W-well--"

You stuttered, and doctors were _never_ supposed to stutter. But oh god. At least stuttering didn't reveal even half of what was going on in your head right now. If Erwin found out you were meeting his cousin to enjoy the nights in hotel rooms across the city, what would he think?! Your record would be marred with the blemishes of unprofessional behavior. 

Actually, forget blemished! It might even be eradicated if Erwin worked in cahoots with Dr. Jaeger to get you fired. Oh this was bad. This was very bad. 

"Dr. [Last], Dr. [Smith], is there something I can help you with?"

You glanced behind Erwin and of course, there was Dr. Bott, smiling happily and freely with his clueless self. How your heart beat instantly smoothed into a soft rhythm was a gratitude you'd never express aloud, but your eyes clearly pleaded for his help. 

"Erwin's niece doesn't seem to want me to examine her," you explained.

"Hmm, how about I see her instead?" Marco offered. 

An invisible relief washed the tension off your shoulders. God, you need to buy this man a drink one day. 

"If Levi and Izzy are okay with it, then it should be fine, right Dr. Smith?" you confirmed. 

Erwin agreed and followed Dr. Bott back into the exam room. In about a minute or so, Erwin walked out with a thumbs up, and you smiled. Dr. Bott really did have a way with kids.

"May I speak to you for a moment, [First]?" Erwin suddenly asked. 

You jolted suddenly but covered your reaction with a calm reply. "Sure. Let's go to my office."

You seated Dr. Smith at the other end of your desk and took your own chair, your heart racing once again in your chest. As if this day couldn't have been more awkward, now the Chair of the department _and_ the cousin of the man who you laid in bed with last night (and many other nights) was sitting right in front of you, fingers locked on his lap and shoulders hunched over with the same weariness recognizable in most of your colleagues. 

Today had probably been a long day for both of you. 

"I apologize for my niece's behavior."

"Oh, it's not a problem," you replied, hoping your voice wasn't shaking as much as you thought it was. "At the very least, she was willing to see Dr. Bott, so we'll be able to prescribe something for her ear infection."

"True, but I hadn't realized it was this bad."

You leaned in immediately with concern. "What, Dr. Smith?"

Erwin's blue eyes filled with a deep sadness as he looked down at the ground and tried to collect his thoughts. The answer didn't seem simple, but then again, nothing about this entire situation was simple. "It concerns Izzy's mom. Izzy hasn't been too fond of women since her mom left Levi 4 years ago, though it's unusual for her to act this way with someone who she and her father haven't met before."

Somehow, the immediate thought that Izzy probably has a mom and that her mother might have been together with Levi brushed past your mind when you first encountered the two in the examination room. But then you remembered Erwin's words over the phone. 

_My cousin and niece recently moved to the area._

Levi's family consisted of two people, himself and his daughter. And a small piece of your heart felt relief in knowing that he hadn't been sleeping with you while in a relationship with another woman. He didn't seem like the type, but then again, neither had your ex when he cheated on you. 

But then it hit you.

Honestly, what kind of pediatrician were you? Thinking about Levi possibly cheating on you instead of Dr. Smith's concern for Izzy? 

"I see..." You struggled to follow the conversation with something appropriate, but any further questions would just pry further into Levi and Isabelle's personal lives. That wasn't fair of you to do. It was your selfish nature that wanted to inquire more about Levi's past. After all, his personal life was a black box to you, as was your life to him. 

You clenched at the fabric of your white coat to hold your tongue, but somehow, the voice in your throat blurted out, "Does Isabelle ever visit her mom?"

You didn't want to believe that Levi left his child alone at home on the nights he spent with you, and that's why this question had risen from the depths of your thoughts. But geez. Great. If Erwin were to ask how this question came to mind though, you knew you wouldn't be able to lie your way out of this one. He wasn't so dense that he wouldn't notice if you stuttered or fidgeted. A doctor was keen to take note of things like that. 

Dr. Smith surprisingly didn't ask. Instead, he answered honestly. "What I meant when I said that Isabelle's mom left Levi, well, I meant that she disappeared completely from their lives. Her parents are still here. They take care of Izzy from time to time. I would too if my evenings were a bit lighter."

"I see," you replied with a solemn voice. It was a mistake to ask. It wasn't your place. "To have your wife completely disappear from your life must be--"

"Oh, they weren't married." Erwin shook his head. "And I personally think Levi and Izzy are better off without her. I can only imagine what living with her must have been like for the two of them. It's not something I pry into a lot because it only seems to bring back bad memories." Silence filled the air between you before he continued. "I hope they'll make better memories now that they've moved here."

"I hope so too, Dr. Smith."

Erwin laughed suddenly which caused you to look up in surprise. "You know, to be honest, Levi already seems a bit happier. I don't know if it's because he somehow found out about the cafe on Lake Street or for another reason, but I think moving here was a good change for him and will be for Izzy too." He smiled earnestly, and your caught his contagious, jolly attitude.

The cafe on Lake Street brought back memories of when you and Levi first met, and a growing emotion of curiosity sparked through your body. You wondered if the time Levi spent with you could have been a contribution to this change that Erwin spoke on. Had Levi seemed happy during those times? For the most part, he seemed like it, and even if you were being overly presumptuous, the mere thought that Levi might be content with you brought a smile to your features. 

A selfish thought at best, was what it was, but it had been a while since you felt like you could make anyone happy, including yourself. 

The tenderness in your smile must have caught Erwin by surprise because his eyes widened, and you quickly pressed your lips together to hide it. 

_Knock_

Marco popped into your office to inform you both that the examination was complete, so you and Dr. Bott walked with Dr. Smith to see Levi and Isabelle off. You raised your hand to wave Isabelle goodbye, but she ignored you again. 

It was hard for you to  look up, but you forced yourself to meet Levi's unnerving gaze. He didn't seem to be in a bad mood...or a good one, but there was a certain amount of ambiguity in his expression that made you truly wonder what was going to happen from now on.

After reading your expression intently for a few seconds, he mouthed the words, "I'll text you," and followed Erwin and Isabelle out of the office. 

The day's work went by without pause, but your mind was swirling with the thoughts of Levi and his text soon to come. And finally at 5 pm when the office closed, your phone _dinged_ with a message.

**Levi: Meet me at the diner on 21st street. 7 pm.**

On any normal day, you would have spent some extra time in the office working on patient files and whatnot, but today was not normal by any means. You rushed to your office to pack your belongings, and Ymir waltzed in just as you were on your way out. You barely even noticed her. You were busy locking the door when she asked with a devious grin, "So when are you gonna spill who you slept with last night?"

Re-adjusting your bag on your shoulder, you power-walked down the hall and almost turned the corner when Ymir's words finally registered in your head. You looked back to find her standing still at your office door. Her face was absolutely deadpan. 

Without much thought given your racing mind, you bit your lip and then yelled, "Tomorrow!" before rushing out of the building to head to the parking garage. There was still so much time left, but you needed to see him.

You really did.

\--------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Chapter 5. A human of many flaws (coming out on Friday! Lots of Levi and reader and a special surprise at the end for yall teehee)

AHHH I AM SO SORRY FOR IF THIS CHAPTER WAS KINDA BORING TTATT I know that chapters without a lot of levi x reader can be a bit boring because I mean, we're reading for the Levi x reader, right? But I really needed this chapter to introduce background and also edge into some of the reader's flaws as well. They're very normal, human flaws in my opinion and are a great segue into the next chapter, a human of many flaws.

ba-dum-tss

Yes, I planned this story out that far ahead haha XD. I'm really proud of that. The overall theme of this fic is finding your own happiness, and I do want to emphasize that Levi is not the reader's remedy for her problems. In my opinion, I don't think a single person can help you fix all of the inner turmoil you go through in life. It's truly about your own mindset and how you approach things. That's the purpose of this slice-of-life fanfiction, to show that your own happiness is something only YOU are capable of making. :3 And I've found this to be true in my life and hope that it's true in yall's lives as well. 

I also really had to get some more Izzy in here because she gets her big spotlight in about 5 chapters or so X3 There's a special reason why she hasn't told her Uncle Erwin about the reader's relationship with Levi. Feel free to guess why but I won't tell you the answer because it's a really important aspect of her relationship with her father, Levi. TTuTT She's honestly a really sweet kid. Like, if only I could explain to you why but I don't wanna ruin the plot.

And Uncle Erwin. Oh Uncle Erwin. Can you even picture Erwin as this guy who just throws himself upon all his little niece's desires and follows them to and fro because he thinks she's the cutest thing since sliced toast?

(which is really cute btw)

Also @frappe7 made this hilarious picture of Levi and Izzy X3: http://frappe7.deviantart.com/art/Pen-Marker-Challenge-tag-522023487

My new headcanon consists of Levi and Izzy jammin' it up to Tswizzle!

And last but not please, expect another **Sketch Giveaway** some time in the future! Sketch giveaways are polls that I post where you comment with an answer and if you're the first person to guess correctly, you get a free sketch! (You must be watching me to participate though...otherwise you probably won't get the poll notification LOL). Sketch examples are here: http://smexylevilover.deviantart.com/journal/Sketch-Commission-Info-open-521081650 and can be found in the "Art" folder in my gallery. 

The poll question is going to be related to the DA nun! -- For those of you who don't know, the DA nun is an evil, vile thing that lurks around DA and gobbles up all your "indecent" and incredibly sexy fanfiction. And the question is gonna be really fun, esp for those of you who haven't known me for too long. You might be surprised hehe. 

Happy Tuesday, everyone and from the bottom of my heart, I hope that when this fanfic series is complete, it makes you smile a lot. >u


	6. Lovely Remedy 5: A human of many flaws

Chapter 5. A human of many flaws

If insecurities came in waves (which they do), then it'd be high tide for you right now. What bout of confidence or maybe even arrogance made you think that you could ever be someone's happiness? Honestly, you had written yourself off as a bother or perhaps an annoyance if someone ever got to know you _too_ well. 

Keeping others outside of that personal box of yours kept you safer from hurt. That was the current philosophy you had adopted because so far, it had seemed to work. The relationship between you and Levi was satisfactory. It was balanced. 

But right now, it felt like something was tipping that perfect balance. Maybe it was the weight you gained from that extra slice of pizza the other night. Or maybe it was because a small part of you now wondered why you had felt so stupidly happy to be important in Levi's life. 

You knew what this meant. You wanted more, but you also knew what it felt like to have a one-sided concern for someone else and how the world crashed down when that person scrunched up your feelings and burned them to ashes right in front of your eyes.

That's what you feared as you sat in the passenger seat of Levi's car. It truly did feel like everything was coming apart. 

A diner shone bright red and yellow light that reflected off of Levi's black camaro which parked off to the side. Your fingers held onto your phone tightly as you didn't dare look up at Levi. He was still thinking about what to say. Everything was just awkward. Everything was just wrong. And your body almost began to shake with jitters when Levi's voice broke your train of thought. 

"Sorry about Izzy. She saw a picture of you on my phone and figured out we were dating."

"Um, which picture?"

Levi pressed a few buttons and held out his phone. You leaned over the cup compartment to take his phone, and as you did, your shoulder brushed awkwardly against his and your fingertips briefly rubbed over the back of his hand. 

And you were blushing with the innocence of a schoolgirl talking her very first crush. It was embarrassing. How many nights had the two of you spent curled up together? Naked bodies that molded perfectly under messy white sheets? And here you were, overcome with a certain discomfort at the quite normal and standard proximity of two acquaintances sitting in a car together. 

You were quick to revert to your original position and glance at the picture on Levi's phone. It was an image of you at the cafe, blowing ever so gently at the warm cup of tea held in your right hand. You were shocked, to say the least, that you could ever look so serene when you compared it to how high strung you were at the moment. 

You had to give it to Levi to have captured a moment you thought was nearly impossible to exist and handed back his phone after a few moments. 

You weren't sure why he had a photo of you on his phone, but a silent thought was hinting at more than you wanted to expect. 

"You know," he started off calmly, "this relationship doesn't have to go on."

You remained silent because you hoped he would continue.

"But I asked you out because I liked your smile, and I don't dislike being around you."

Well...that was unexpected. Your initials intentions weren't so innocent though. Hadn't you accepted the offer for a plain change in pace? 

No. "Plain" was inaccurate. Levi was exciting to be around. Being around him put you on a one-way flight to cloud 9, and it was nearly impossible to get off. But the real question was, did you really want permanence?

Your expression dropped, and Levi noticed. 

"I'm not sure why you seem so opposed to a relationship, but whatever the reason, I'll let you know I can't promise much." He grunted as he re-adjusted himself in his seat to face you. "I don't know if we'd stay together forever. Life is like that. You can't predict the future."

You nodded in slow agreement. This was something you had learned already with your previous relationship, but hearing it directly somehow made you lose faith in silly thoughts like "true love" or even finding someone to spend your life with.

Eyes cast down, you turned away from Levi only to turn back when you heard his next words.

"But right now, I like you. And I'll go with whatever you decide."

"Unexpected," a much better word to describe Levi compared to "plain." You rubbed your arms to warm up a bit because Levi's words made you shiver. 

"I'm not so naive to love that I would assume we could last forever," you told him. "...even if it would be ideal."

"..."

Thoughts of how this relationship could end up as much of a disaster as your last one flashed by your mind. It would surely be your fault, is what you felt. It'd be better to push him away before anything happened, right?

"There's not much you'd like about me," you suddenly admitted. "I have a lot of flaws." Flaws like the fact that you couldn't even respect Levi's privacy and had the nerve to ask Erwin about Isabelle's mom, flaws that made your insecurities as transparent as cellophane tape. 

"Tch. Who doesn't? Relationships are about learning to accept those flaws, and when one of both partners can't..."

It's the end. 

That's how it was for you. Your ex fiance couldn't understand your busy schedule during your residency training and how hard it was to find time to be with him. Towards the end of the relationship, he began calling you a "bad girlfriend" and eventually claimed it was your fault for the break up. Unfortunately, there were days when you honestly and truly believed him. 

But then you remembered that a relationship was made of _two_ people, not one. Two sets of flaws, not just one. 

"It takes you a long time to warm up," Levi suddenly said. 

"What?"

"A flaw. You don't share a lot about yourself. Your face has a lot of expressions, but you never say anything. And you don't have to."

I'll go at your pace, is what he was telling you. And it suddenly dawned on you that Levi was serious about this. As he sat beside you in his grey leather seat, you thought to yourself, Why had he taken the time to even be here? Why did he make you feel so comfortable? 

Compared to your ex who was constantly pressuring you to change your schedule or change yourself in general, the cruel comments he had about your wardrobe, the way he liked to show you off excessively to his friends only to never act that way around people who he didn't know -- there were a lot of flaws in him that you should have never accepted and never would in the future. 

You barely knew any of Levi's faults but prayed that he shared none with your ex. 

"You're too cold," you said.

"Hm?"

"You're really cold when I sleep next to you. It feels like an ice cube hugging me from behind."

A flaw, really the only flaw you could name off the top of your head, but that didn't change the fact that your response surprised Levi. His expression grew unexpectedly gentle as his lips curved almost into a smile, and you could practically feel your heart skip a beat.

You couldn't believe how much you wanted to kiss him right now. 

You held back the feeling though, still worried that you could be making the wrong decision. "Levi," you started, "let me think about it for a bit."

Levi nodded and stared at you calmly and deeply. Your shoulder bumped his, but neither of you made way for the other. Instead, it felt as if the two of you were inching closer, and you found this to be true when your lips fluttered against Levi's. 

Rather than pulling back, you felt a sudden urge to place your hands on his shoulders. Your rubbed wide circles with your palms as your lips pressed together deeply. Levi's hands twisted the fabric at your waist as he pulled you closer and dipped your head back to kiss you even more. 

Within moments, you were encased in his broad shoulders, a burning warmth shared between your pressing chests. Your fingers now plowed through his undercut until his hair caught between your fingers, and his large hands pressed against the small of your back, pulling your hips closer to his. You trembled with the increasing closeness of your bodies and almost lost yourself in it until a sudden obnoxious _honk_ interrupted you both. 

Levi quickly pulled down his window in anger, but the truck had already driven away. He threw himself back into the seat and raked a hand through his hair. 

"Tch."

You blushed hard, as if there were no tomorrow because today truly felt like a dream. But the way your lips remembered the pressure of Levi's was real. You knew that at least. 

You unlocked the door at your side and turned back one more time towards Levi. "I'll see you later," you hurriedly spat out before stuttering over to your car. You were in too much of a daze to even walk properly. 

Levi leaned back in his seat and watched you enter your car from his rearview mirror. Confirming you'd made it safely, he closed his eyes peacefully. His pointer and middle finger ran a straight line over his lower lip, red and warm from the kiss you two shared. 

Levi's mind drew a blank as he remembered how soft you felt, how wonderful you smelled, how sweet you tasted. The heated feeling you embraced him with was almost unreal. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he whispered to himself, in a laughing voice almost. It was the first time in a very long time he'd felt like this. 

This cold, weary body of his -- it was a flaw he'd never loved so much. 

\-----------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Chapter 6. Armed and ready (coming out next Friday cuz exams TTATT)

I got exams week of April 6th so I have to write past chapter 7 if I wanna update on a timely basis X3 Hope yall don't mind a week's wait >_


	7. Lovely Remedy 6: Armed and Ready

Chapter 6. Armed and ready

"And so we kissed and..."

"And what?"

"And that's it," you replied.

"What? That's the time to _bang_ , girl. You both should have gotten freaky in his car!" Ymir laughed obnoxiously, and you swatted at her to get her to stop. The two of you had decided to get lunch at Chipotles and were seated near the window. Ymir was a bit more eccentric today than usual, her jokes ten times cruder and her voice 100 times louder. 

You hadn't told her that you were dating Levi at the moment. She just knew about some "mysterious man you met at a bar." And she was incredibly ecstatic about it, _too_ ecstatic. It was definitely a mistake to take her to a crowded restaurant. 

You eyed her suspiciously. "Is something up by the way?"

"Nah, nothing much," she said. She shrugged her shoulders and sipped on her Coca-cola. 

Then, Ymir proceeded to stuff her face with her extra large burrito, and you wondered why she seemed more impatient and even a bit sour today during work. Maybe it was because Krista took off today. It might have been cruel to think this, but sometimes it felt like the office ran smoother without Krista billing the wrong amounts or misplacing things. You didn't like the way Ymir babied Krista despite the mistakes she made. They were never big mistakes, but really, how inefficient could one nurse be?

The two of you were quick to return to Trost Pedatrics, you especially to avoid any further harassment from "Ms. Snoopy Gossip Girl." Luckily, work ended without much hassle, and you dropped by the mailroom to check your box. It was filled with advertisements and really nothing worth reading, so you dumped them all in the trash can. Turning around to head to the parking garage, you were met with a force that seemed to resemble a brick wall, but when you looked up, it was just Dr. Smith. 

_Just_ Dr. Erwin Smith.

At times like these, you always wondered if it was more appropriate to salute him or bow down in his presence, but he seemed to think a simple greeting was more appropriate. 

"How are you doing, [First]?" He smiled. 

"I'm fine. And yourself, sir?"

He let out a big sigh and then laughed in a jolly manner. "Just running around a bit too much. I have a meeting in about an hour, but I haven't had dinner and I need to drop something off for Levi."

Your eyes darted to the bag in Dr. Smith's left hand and then back to his tired face. He was obviously over-worked. "Would you like me to drop that off for you? My afternoon is free today."

Erwin thought it over for a moment, but there was no way he'd make it to his meeting on time if he refused your offer. "Oh that'd be great. Thank you so much, [First]."

You smiled warmly and accepted the package he held out for you. "Sure thing, Dr. Smith. Where am I dropping this off?"

"Ah, you know the Smith Hotel on 32nd street? Levi runs it."

Your eyelids lifted high in surprise. "Dr. Smith, so the rumors are true? Your family runs the Smith Hotel branches?"

"Haha, when did that become a rumor?"

"I don't know. There was just a rumor going around when I first joined that your family owned the Smith Hotel business."

"Well, it's not a rumor, [First]." Erwin was clearly amused with the shock in your face. "If you ever stay the Smith Hotel, give them my name. Might get you a free night."

He raised an eyebrow, and you couldn't suppress a grin in response. "Too awkward, sir," you admitted, a free hand tenting over your lips to hide the cheeky grin underneath. 

He shook his head and raised his palms with fake disappointment. "Your loss."

You bid Dr. Smith goodbye, smiling as you entered the elevators for the parking garage and maybe even excited to see Levi at work. 

The afternoon traffic was just as brutal as it always was, and it took you nearly 45 minutes to make it to the Smith hotel on 32nd street. There was definitely no way Dr. Smith would have made it back to his meeting on time, and you were even more thankful you had run into him earlier. 

You parked in the hotel lot and made your way to the front desk. A young lady with auburn hair took your request. 

"I have something to drop off for Mr. Levi Ackerman from Dr. Erwin Smith," you told her. The names clearly rang a bell as she quickly led you to the lobby and seated you at a couch. 

"Please wait here. I'll notify Mr. Ackerman. May I ask for your name, Miss?"

"[First] [Last]," you informed her.

She beamed a smile and thanked you before returning to the front desk. 

Minutes passed and you grew bored with waiting and pulled out your phone to play Bejeweled Blitz. It was a habit you had picked up from your mom, but you were determined to beat your current high score of 43,000, which unfortunately wasn't a high score to be too proud of. It would take much more time, effort, and dedication before you could make it to your mom's all time score of 200,000.

While swiping your finger left and right to play the game, your ears caught onto a couple's banter. 

"How could you misplace it? Damnit!" 

"Sorry, I'm looking for it, okay?"

"I told you to keep it in your bag last night. You never listen though."

"Well, sorry. I haven't gotten much sleep lately. Just give me a break."

You could have felt almost sorry for the calm response that trickled from her throat, but instead, every word burned you, sort of in the way a clock ticks to the 12 mark, brutally slow at a maddening pace. And the hand was closing in on your patience. 

"What kind of shitty excuse is that?" he suddenly yelled louder. "I can't believe you--"

He had crossed the line. 

"Hey! Don't you think that's enough? She's apologized twice now," you said as you approached the couple. Something in you just _clicked._ Direct confrontation was never your first choice, but rather than wasting time to inform the staff of his conduct, you found it more effective to act now. 

You crossed your arms over your chest and glared at the boyfriend whose entire demeanor seemed to shrink now that someone was calling him out. You knew this type of man, the type who felt inferior in public and therefore acted in a way to demonstrate his superiority over someone who was easy to take advantage of. He was a man of no redeeming qualities. 

Having lost his voice, he momentarily stuttered for words. But some sort of false sense of pride must have welled within him because he seemed to get his voice back in a jiffy. 

"Who do you think you are butting into our business?" he snapped back.

"Who do _you_ think you are treating your girlfriend like shit?" Anger fumed within you, more than it would if this were any other situation, but this felt natural. Their fight reminded you of a particular instance (or perhaps many) when your boyfriend abused your goodwill. For all the times you hadn't spoken back to him, you were going to start repaying them now. "Why don't you lay off, you crass bastard?"

His face grew red in anger, and his girlfriend's expression filled with panic as he lifted his hand. He couldn't scare you. You were more than prepared to smack him across the face with whatever Dr. Smith had armed you with before this asshole could even touch a hair on your head. 

"Touch her and you'll be charged with more than just the hotel rate," a deep voice rang behind you. Before you could even turn, you felt yourself swerved to the side as Levi pulled you behind him and glanced at security to call them over. The guy's face immediately twisted with fear as the guard approached him. 

"Escort this guy to the front desk and make sure he pays his fair without trouble," Levi ordered, his hand still clasped on your arm. 

"Hey, my girlfriend and I were going to split the cost!" the cheap bastard  yelled.

Levi's eyes darted to the frightened girlfriend who honestly looked like she might break into a sobbing fit at any moment. She really deserved better. 

Levi turned back towards the guy until they were facing each other directly. "Oh really? Then her half will be covered by the hotel. Yours, on the other hand, isn't. Go ahead and take him to the front now, Officer Jinn."

"Yes, Mr. Ackerman."

Without letting you go, Levi began to lead you somewhere private, but you pulled away aggressively, your body still shaking in anger from the previous incident. Images of your ex flashed through your mind, and all you saw was red. You shoved the bag at Levi and strutted towards your car in a hurry without realizing that Levi was following after you until you felt yourself pulled back roughly. 

"Are you okay?" he questioned with a worried tone. 

You brought a palm to your forehead and wondered if you truly were okay at the moment. Maybe not, but you were definitely better now that Levi was here. 

"Yeah." You breathed in and out through your mouth. "I'm fine. I'm okay. Just, you know, thanks for not being a dick."

Like your ex.

"Oh...kay?" Levi replied in confusion. Something clearly wasn't right. He hadn't seen you blow up like this during the span of time that he'd known you, and to see you like this stirred his conscience in a awful way. A quick mental note was made to not get on your bad side. "Do you want to talk about anything?" 

Yeah, you really did. You wanted to tell him that it was unfair of you to ever think that he could resemble your ex. You needed to stop judging him by a good-for-nothing's standards. Levi was worth more than that.

"Yeah, you know, Levi," you said as you looked up at him straight in the eye, "I really want this to work out. Us, I mean. I want to try this out."

"Ah...I see."

What was he supposed to reply to that with? Well, Levi had no clue. The mixed feelings in his heart drove him to wonder what kind of expression was showing on his face when you suddenly smiled at him. You kissed his cheek lightly and left Levi standing alone in the parking lot as you drove off.

The poor man was deadpan as he stood still with Erwin's bag in hand.

He shook his head to clear his muddled thoughts and peered inside the bag. Inside was a small bear with a note. It read,

_"Hey Levi, this was the bear Izzy wanted last time we went to the mall. Well, she said she didn't want it, but I bought it for her anyways cuz she really looked like she wanted it."_

Levi rolled his eyes. Typical Erwin going out of his way. Really, the blonde was still unmarried and single as ever, always intruding on other people's business like the busy bee he was. Honest, Erwin just needed to settle down and have some kids of his own, but his busy schedule made it difficult -- that, and the fact that he was content with spoiling Izzy. Levi "tsked" and continued reading,

_"So Izzy says you're dating someone? Wow, I'm impressed. Did you find her right after you moved to Trost? The Smith family pheromones must run strong in you. Keep me updated. -- Erwin."_

Sighing, Levi raked a tired hand through his front bangs, brushing his hair off his forehead as his tired eyes stared at the note with annoyance. 

"Shut the fuck up, Erwin."

\-----------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Chapter 7. The call (will be out on Tuesday!). Starts off sexy so have your bodies ready <3 hehe

Oh gosh. Anime Matsuri is today and I got so excited that I forgot that today was Friday LOLOL. Oops! XD Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please look forward to the next. You remember that descent I was talking about? Well, it's happening. And it's going downhill fast. hehe. <3

Also! The poll giveaway (on DeviantArt)! I'll ask the question probably around Friday/Saturday (April 10/11). The question regards my fanfics and I wanted to give yall a heads up that my profile page now has an entire list of my fanfic series with descriptions and links! AND IT ALSO HAS NEW IDEAS X3 Feel free to contribute!

@windmeister8 and I are currently working on a possible collab, and the Levi x Reader series idea is based on REVENGE. MUAHAHA <3 I unfortunately can't promise a happy ending for this one (but I'll try). X3 Here's a sort of summary of the idea!

Idea: Inspiration--Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy. In their past lives, reader betrayed Levi and murdered him and his colleagues in the Survey Corps. Now that Levi's been reincarnated in the modern world, he hopes to find the reader and take revenge for his friends. What will he do when he receives an assignment to protect someone in a witness protection program and bring that person to his boss, Erwin Smith? And what will happen when he finds out that this "someone" is in fact the reader? 

Easy.

He'll put his smoke out on the ash tray beside him as his eyes scan new message on his laptop. The screen light will illuminate the contours of his impassive expression as he says cryptically, 

"Finally, you've appeared."

\----------------huehue hope you enjoyed that preview and the chapter! Please leave any comments, suggestions, or feedback if you have time! :) Thank you for reading!


	8. Lovely Remedy 7: The call

Chapter 7. The call

(Warning for smut and sexual themes)

"You know," Levi sighed as he placed his pen down. You looked up tiredly from your Bejeweled game to see him stretch his arms and groan quietly. The clock ticked 2 am, and the two of you were utterly exhausted. A few hours earlier, you had thought it cute to surprise Levi by visiting him at the hotel, but you soon realized what a mistake it was. Mr. Levi Ackerman was a busybody and tonight, had planned to catch up on unfinished work. You offered to wait, but you hadn't expected his efforts to extend into the ungodly hours of the night. Out of sympathy (and maybe a bit of concern), you offered to keep him silent company. 

A soft smile painted itself on your expression, and you hummed in delight.

"What, Levi?"

His hands were now back on his desk, pen tapping the forms in front of him. "If I were still the hot-blooded brat I was 11 years ago, I would toss these documents aside and take you on this desk right now. The mess would be worth it." He eyed the stack of papers guarding his left and right with slight irritation. They were clearly too important to just cast aside for the sake of his own sexual pleasure, but they were still annoying as fuck. 

The obvious displeasure in Levi's face made you laugh. "Really now, Mr. Ackerman? You? A hot-blooded brat? I can't even imagine!"

"Hey, you're talking to the guy who accidentally got his ex girlfriend pregnant. You have to imagine, a 23 year old waiter and a 21 year old college girl who frequented the cafe he worked. We had our fair share of crazy rendezvous in the back, a little too crazy, hence Izzy." 

Levi chuckled to himself before realizing the silence from the opposite side of his office where you were seated. A subtle pool of guilt suddenly filled his stomach. He wondered if maybe you weren't comfortable with openly discussing previous relationships. "[First], I'm sorry if---"

"Oh haha, no worries, Levi," you quickly reassured him. "My ex and I had our fair share of hot, crazy sex. But now, I'm starting to feel pretty old, too old to bend over your desk and wave my ass at you--"

"Yeah, this old bag of bones is probably too old to carry you against the wall and fuck you nice and hard."

"--Or ride you on that desk chair."

A low growl sounded from the depths of Levi's throat. "Fuck. You know," Levi said as he slammed his pen down and swung out of his chair. "Dr. [Last], you do a shitty ass job."

You slipped your phone into your pocket as Levi entered your personal space, pressing his now sweaty palms against the arm and the back of the chair respectively. The air had grown humid between you both, and his face lowered to your level so you both could see each other eye-to-eye.

"Psh, of what?" you replied with a callous smirk. 

His lips dipped at your ears, his hot breath melting your skin. "Of curing my obsession with you," he whispered. 

A sultry hand followed the length of his navy tie up to the collar of Levi's white shirt and pulled down with a harsh tug. "There are certain conditions I can't treat," you answered in a playfully mischievous voice. Hah, what a joke. The age for "being too old" clearly had not passed for either of you. In fact, the way Levi looked down at you with "hot-blooded sex" written in his eyes made your body shiver in delight from head to toe. 

"Well, do your services include treating a hard-on, Dr. [Last]?" 

"Depends on how long it takes you to get comfortable on that chair right over there, Mr. Ackerman."

A tantalizing smirk met plush lips, and the two of you moved quickly to delve into forbidden pleasure. You had to admit, 2 am office sex was amazing, that is, until your back started hurting and until the effect the 5 teas Levi drank earlier finally wore off. Fatigue was catching up to both of you quickly tonight, but neither of you paid any heed. You both held on tightly to one another and ran, ran because you two had already decided that there wasn't a single entity on this earth that would stop you now. 

Not much time was wasted in deciding to continue the fun at your place. And the fact that you both took separate cars to get there while throwing sexual innuendos over the speaker phone only served to fuel the growing tension. The distance finally closed as Levi caught you in either hand and kicked the bedroom door closed. As his chin nuzzled into your shoulder and as his lips trailed kisses and love bites up your neck to the back of your ear, you found yourself wondering if you were caught in a delicate web of dreams.

You gasped aloud and immediately changed your mind. The hand squeezing your ass _definitely_ was not "delicate." 

Hours passed like minutes, and soon, the first rays of the morning swept over messy beige, striped, and half-empty sheets. 

"Yes, Mom?" You used your shoulder to press the phone securely against your ear while moving about the kitchen to whip up some toast, tea, and eggs. 

"..."

"Yeah, I'm doing fine, just making breakfast."

"..."

"No, nothing much."

"..."

"Getting adjusted? You don't need to worry about that, Mom. I've been here for 6 months now."

"..."

"Yes, it really has been that long. I'll stop by Shigashina to visit when I get some time off."

"..."

"Mhm, love you too. Bye, Mom."

_Click_

You sighed and twisted your neck left, right, and finally back only to find yourself staring up at Levi. 

"So you moved to Trost recently as well?" he asked as he slipped his hands up and down the robe's fabric at your hips. 

His fingers tickled your skin with the way they ran so smoothly across your robe. "Yeah, but it feels like it's been forever honestly. Why're you dressed? Leaving before breakfast?"

Levi left a brief kiss on your cheek before walking to the table to pour some tea. "If I leave now, I can probably make it to Izzy's grandparents to take her to school and save them the trouble."

You smiled at him. "You're a good dad, Levi."

"I'm not sure sometimes. I mean, I lost my parents pretty early on, but my aunt and uncle, Erwin's parents, took me in as their own and raised me. And even if they weren't around much because the hotel business kept them busy, I still had Erwin to keep me company, whether I liked it or not." Levi's shoulders lifted and dropped with a long sigh. "Izzy doesn't have a mom, and I'm pretty sure she has no friends. She doesn't like talking about school."

A frown overtook your features. You understood how hard it would be for any parent to admit their shortcomings, and the fact that Levi was telling you any of this probably meant that he really was worried about Izzy. 

"You know, if you ever need some help with picking up Izzy from school, just let me know. Her school isn't too far from my office I think." 

Even if her school was close to Trost Pediatrics, it would still be hard to find time to pick her up between patient appointments. You weren't the type to hand out false promises though. If you wanted to invest yourself into a relationship with Levi, then you would need to learn to adapt to his needs as a single father, as he would to your schedule as a practicing pediatrician. You knew this much at least. 

"Thanks, [First]," Levi said. The mug was held steady at his lips as he blew over the heated liquid and took another sip. "By the way, why did you move to Trost?"

"Oh, I--"

'I wanted to get away from my ex,' you thought but quickly chased it away. 

"I was offered a position at Trost Pediatrics by a friend's father. His name is Dr. Jaeger. Maybe I'll get to introduce you to him some time," you explained. It was a half truth. You had asked Dr. Jaeger, head of Trost Children's Hospital, for any open positions, and he had offered this one. And the reason for asking was because you needed to get the hell out of Shigashina, even if it meant leaving your parents and friends behind. The old town was just unhealthy with the memories it brought up. 

You hoped Levi wouldn't notice your obvious discomfort, but the truth is that he had. A slight shift of your eyes to the left was able to tell him more than you wanted to in words. He checked his phone and shifted to stand. 

"You're going already?" you asked.

"Yeah, I'll be late otherwise." Levi walked over to the front door, the steaming mug still in hand. "You mind if I take this for the road?"

You shook your head, and Levi's eyes stared at you in a gentle manner, more than you thought you deserved at the moment. "Thanks. I'll return it later."

As he left, a burning guilt grew within your chest. No one was forcing you for answers. That much was clear. But by now, Levi had been incredibly open about his family, friends, his ex, and his daughter. It was shocking honestly just how easily he spoke to you about such private matters, but then, maybe the most shocking thing was rather how much you avoided talking about your own personal affairs. Besides a bit about your parents and work life, Levi didn't know much.

What were you supposed to say though? "Oh, I'm just a broken woman thanks to her ex?" That was never who you wanted to be nor was it who you truly were. There was nothing for you to fix anymore. You had found happiness. The only matter now  was letting go of sadness and until you were able to finally face that what had happened with your ex and admit it to Levi, you felt as if you'd be chained forever by the past. 

In your heart, you knew this would never last forever, these feelings of being stagnant and unable to move forward. It's not like you had all the time in the world, but Levi was willing to give you as much as you needed. 

"One day at a time," you reminded yourself as you began to get ready for work. 

If life could work in your favor, you'd find everything you needed behind every door. Behind the door to Trost Pediatrics, you'd find comfort in Marco, a little bit of dirty gossip in Ymir, and maybe even a bit of kindness in Krista because that was at least one of her redeeming qualities despite her inefficiency. But how often did life grant you comfort, gossip, and kindness all in one day?

The simple answer would be, not today. 

As you turned the key in to enter the office, the door suddenly swung open at an unimaginable speed, and it was only by luck or instinct or both that you moved back in time to avoid getting smacked in the face by cold, hard wood. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ymir shoot past and grumble her way down the hall, too fast for you to call out to her. 

Instead, you peered inside the office to see a very angry Dr. Bott and frightened Krista. This was _not_ a good sign. 

"What happened?" you asked.

Dr. Bott sighed deeply and massaged the inner area of his eyes. "Ymir was out of line with Krista so I sent her home."

You looked to Krista for more answers, but she merely looked down and away. It was probably best to avoid asking for details until everyone had settled down, so you closed the office door and placed a gentle hand on Dr. Bott's shoulder. "Let's go prep for the patients then, Dr. Bott. Today's going to be a long day."

"Yeah, [First]. Feels like it already has been though."

How the office managed without Ymir babysitting Krista was probably nothing short of a miracle in your opinion. If there would ever be a day when Krista would prove herself a competent and resourceful woman, then today was not that day. The mistakes were numerous. The office ran behind schedule. Everyone worked hard to pick up Ymir's unplanned absence. And Dr. Bott took the responsibility of correcting any of Krista's mistakes. He did so in a calm and patient manner, and if he ever thought he was going to lose that patience, he would slip into his office, drink his cup of coffee, and return with a bright smile. Everyone had a coping mechanism, and luckily they were effective in ensuring that the day finished without any outbursts. 

At the end, Dr. Bott thanked everyone for working overtime and especially thanked Krista for taking over Ymir's work for the day. Her face held relief, but that wasn't an emotion you could approve of. You could only roll your eyes in slight annoyance as you recalled how a few parents complained about waiting times and nearly left the office without their completing their child's appointment. 

Before you turned to head to your own office room to pack up your belongings, you caught Krista's stare. The short blonde seemed like a child to you, someone staring at a parent for recognition, but you weren't the type to give awards for clumsiness. You turned around with a huff, not caring if she saw your eye-roll. Maybe she'd change for the better if she knew that you didn't particularly approve of her current work efficiency. 

You immediately packed your things and headed out to the 7th floor of the parking garage. Throwing your purse to the passenger seat of your car, you fished the key from your pants pocket and turned on the ignition. Before you could put your car in reverse, your phone rang, and you grumbled. All you wanted to do was go home, but no, life just didn't want to work in your favor today. 

You quickly shuffled through the contents of your purse to grab your phone and answered without paying much attention to the caller ID, which is why you probably froze when you heard the voice at the other end of the line. 

"[First]?"

You pressed the phone closer to your ears, ears that had been attuned to this voice for years. 

"...Eren? Eren, are you okay?" 

You waited for a response from the other end of the line, your hand gripping the width of your phone tightly and the pressure turning parts of your palm almost white. How long had he ignored your calls and texts? How had he been since his mom passed away? Why hadn't he contacted you sooner? 

Memories of Shigashina flashed through your mind, and you remembered his parting words.

_Cura te ipsum_

\---------------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Chapter 8. Words that don't mend (out in a week, by next Tuesday)

For anyone who needs a recap from chapter 1, Eren is the reader's childhood friend. They've known each other for the longest time and have a sort of brother-sister relationship. The reader has been by Eren's side through a lot of unfortunate events such as when his dad divorced his mom and moved away from Shigashina to Trost (which is now where the reader currently works btw). Eren is a university student at the moment.

Six months ago, the reader planned to move to Trost after discovering her cheating ex. Eren's dad, Dr. Jaeger, offered her a job and she accepted to work at Trost Pediatrics. When Eren found this out, he suddenly became more distant and actually even angry that she was moving away. The reader didn't know why, since this was for her own benefit. Then 5 months after moving to Trost, the reader finds out that Eren's mother passed away from a disease. She tried to get in contact with him, but he's been completely ignoring her. This is the first time she's heard her friend's voice in about a month and obviously, she's worried. 

Anddd that's all for now! haha. Thank you so much for reading! I'm kind of nauseous right now with exam anxiety, which is starting to make typing a little difficult too cuz my hands are still shaky. Luckily, exams will be over by Friday, and I plan to binge write the next chapters this weekend (which is also my mom's birthday weekend yeee Mama Smexy is turning 50 LOL <3 haha). 

The story is now progressing into some of the good stuff haha, where we get to tackle each character's individual problems and see whether the issue resolves. I hope you're enjoying this slice-of-life fic as much as me and I do apologize for the amount of time it took to reach this point where we finally have some nice bit of conflict. I just really wanted to take this fanfic slow to give it a most realistic sense. :) 

Again, Thank you so much for reading and please leave any comments, feedback, or suggestions if you have time.


	9. Lovely Remedy 8: Words that don't mend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hmm i'm reuploading this chapter because i'm wondering if ao3 notified you all! it was originally uploaded about 2 days ago! hope you enjoy and sorry it's a few days later than planned!

Chapter 8. Words that don't mend

"Hey, Eren."

Your childhood friend sipped on his soft drink as the pads of his fingers tapped away at his cellular device. You stared at him, your chin propped up with an open palm as you observed how he specifically avoided your gaze in preference for whatever he was doing on his phone.

What in the world could keep a college boy's attention like that?

"Eren, you haven't joined any of those dating apps like Tinder, right?" you asked for confirmation.

Eren's green eyes immediately shot up with a small glare. "Are you kidding me, [Name]? Do I look that desperate?"

You shrugged and eyed his phone.

"A friend just invited me to a party!" Eren explained, his phone now face down as he grabbed for the french fries.

You watched him stuff his mouth full and chew in an atrocious manner. Eren commuted from home to college, so his mom usually kept him pretty well fed. It wasn't like him to scarf down outside food unless he suddenly fell out-of-love with his mother's homemade Sloppy Joes. Maybe she hadn't cooked dinner tonight? 

"I thought you had a project due next week. Have you started it?"

"Yeah, well it can wait. I'm allowed to have fun once in a while, right?"

You threw a suspicious look in his direction. "Is that Mikasa girl going to this party? Is that why you want to go?"

"Mikasa? No, of course not. She's not the type."

"Well neither are you, Eren."

"I'm not a child, [Name]. Stop babying me."

You finally grabbed for your own soft drink and sucked on the straw. You figured this wasn't something you'd want to explain on a dry throat.

"I won't be here to baby you any longer. I'm moving next month."

Eren paused, and for the first time tonight, he took a good long stare at you, reading every expression in your features because he couldn't hear a hint of a lie in your voice. His efforts proved futile however, and you wondered why he seemed to care so much right now. The two of you rarely had time to meet up like this anyways because of your job and Eren's college, so most of the communication between you two was through text. It was true that Eren had been calling you to meet up a bit more recently, but even when you did meet up with him, his eyes would stay glued to his cell phone. 

"I spoke to your father about a position at Jaeger Children's Hospital. He told me there was an opening for general pediatrics," you told him. You could almost wince at the way Eren shed all patience at the mention of his father.

"How could you, [First]? I thought you were my friend! Why would you leave to work under my dad of all people? You know how he treated me and my mom! He left us for his business! Are you really going to work for someone like that?"

Eren's blood was boiling --no, rather, his blood was raging. He was so angry that you could feel the heat from his hands which now gripped your wrist on the table. His eyes screamed "traitor," and yours pleaded for him to understand.

"Eren, it's a good job and pays well. It'll be a nice change, and it's not like I won't see you again." 

"I don't care, [Name]! You're leaving your family, your friends, and me for a better job?" He posed a question, but his voice was laced with accusation. 

Soft fingers massaged your temple as you wondered if you should even bother explaining the real reason. Eren was 21 years old. He was old enough to understand something like this, right? 

"I don't like this town anymore. It just brings up bad memories for me whenever I'm reminded of my ex. Look, I don't like this any more than you do, but I'm doing what's best for me."

"What's best for you? [Name], what's best for you is having people to support you through this. I know your ex was an ass, but why would you force yourself to move to another city?"

"How can you decide what's best for me?" you blurted out, fists curled at your sides. "I just want to start again!"

Eren's palms slammed on the table, shaking the plates and drinks that rested on the surface. "You're not starting again! The problem isn't this town! It's your attitude! You think a new job in a new place is going to help you? You're not doing anything to change yourself, just your environment!"

His words creeped slowly into your heart, decaying every bit of illegitimate reason that stood behind your choice to move. How rare was it for Eren to actually speak with logic? 

Rare enough for you to cast away any doubts in your mind and stand fully behind your decision. You refused to accept his advice, no matter how sound. You were hoping the new environment would help you change, help heal your heart enough to start loving yourself again...and someone else too. 

"When did you become an expert on broken hearts, Eren? Forget it, you just don't understand."

"Yeah, I do understand. I understand this: not everyone has the privilege of being able to run away from their problems."

Your mouth dropped as Eren quickly walked out of the restaurant. You quickly followed him after leaving cash on the table. He was waiting at the dimly lit bus stop, apparently refusing to get a ride home with you. You bit your lip and approached the bench slowly. 

"Eren's, what's wrong? You're not acting like yourself, and you've been strange for the past few weeks."

He scoffed. "What's wrong with wanting company? And what do you care? You're leaving me anyways." He mumbled something else in a low voice, but you could barely hear as the low rumbling of an engine sounded. 

The bus had arrived.

"Eren..."

Eren stood up wearily and looked back at you as the doors opened. "There's this phrase we learned in our philosophy class, Cura te ipsum. I think it accurately describes you."

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. Why would he mention this?

As if reading your expression, Eren answered, "It's about getting your priorities straight, _Dr. [Last]_."

The hateful way he pronounced your title startled you, his eyes devoid of most emotion as he turned away and boarded. He didn't call you after that. His texts consisted of one word and sometimes one letter answers. "k" or "oh" or "ya." You wondered if he was avoiding you on purpose, but that wasn't your concern. You wanted a smooth transition to Trost Pediatrics, whether or not Eren supported your decision. Once at Trost, you immediately became engrossed in work, almost completely forgetting what Eren had said. It wasn't until five months later, when news spread around the staff that Dr. Jaeger's former wife had passed away, that you immediately thought of Eren and his parting words. 

Questions reeled through your mind like movie clips, each question wondering if her death was related to the way Eren had acted with you. You later realized it probably had, since his mother had been suffering from cancer for months before her passing. There was that realization and many more that ate away at your soul. 

"You're leaving me," he had said. And the words that he mumbled, the words you weren't able to follow before, finally took shape. 

"You're leaving me, just like Mom."

You had grabbed for your phone to call him. He never pick up. You tried talking to Dr. Jaeger, but as you suspected, he couldn't tell you much about Eren's well-being. He never could because work was always on his mind, hence why Eren detested his father. One entire month passed without any contact from the brunette. 

You were quick to realize that unless Eren called you himself, you'd never get in touch with him, so you set aside your worries to focus on your work. But then you remembered those words, _Cura te ipsum_. You made the mistake of looking them up and finally understood what he meant...and that he was right. "Attend to your _defects_ before trying to treat another's." You were a hypocrite of a physician, able to treat everyone else but yourself, and that was your own fault, your own deficit in your abilities. 

It made you hate yourself a little bit more. 

You were someone who came to rely on work as a distraction to stop thinking of all the ways you could have fixed your previous relationship, all the alternate endings that could have but never happened. And the real ending was the worst, to have been cheated on, to have been stripped of your confidence, trust, everything.

Most of all, it hurt to have let those feelings interfere with your personal relationships, the relationships you cut off because you selfishly wanted to move away and "fix" yourself. Had you really even tried to fix yourself now that you were with Levi? Weren't there still things you were incapable of sharing because a part of you was still clinging to the distrust of your previous relationship? 

"[Name]? Are you there?" Eren spoke over the phone. 

The pain in your fingertips brought your attention back to the call, and you loosened your grip on the device. It had been six months since you last saw Eren in Shigashina, one month since you had heard his voice over the phone. You spoke with a bit of hesitation. 

"Yeah, Eren, I'm here."

"I see..." His voice drifted before finding the words to fill the awkward silence between you two. "[Name], I'm sorry for how I've been acting. Life has just been...really tough lately." His voice was near breaking. 

"Eren---"

"But it's fine," he interrupted. "I'm a lot better now than before...really, I am. I'm just really sorry for the way I treated you."

"You don't need to apologize, Eren. I was too caught up in myself to realize anything was wrong."

"No, I just-- I wanted you to feel better too. I knew moving was probably a good idea for you, so I didn't say anything about my mom's condition because I didn't want you to force yourself to stay. I'm sorry. Because I did that, I ended up resenting and blaming you for leaving. That's really all I wanted to say." 

Stupid Eren. Twenty-one or not, he was still a child. He didn't need to be concerned about things like forcing you to stay. He should have been more selfish, more demanding, so that you wouldn't feel as bad as you did right now for not being there for him. 

But what had happened, happened. There was nothing to change the past. This was just another mistake that you could add to your list of regrets. 

"Well, how have you been, Eren? It's been so long since I've heard from you. I was worried."

"I've been doing okay honestly. I'm actually packing my stuff. Dad is going to sell the house, since he thinks it'd be safer for me to live in the college dorms."

You could hear the dejection in his voice. That house held a lot of memories for Eren, the very place where he grew up. It was easy to imagine the argument he probably had with his father over selling the house and how long it had taken him to accept his dad's decision to be able to speak this calmly about the topic. 

"Have you figured out where you'll be going after graduation?"

"Well, Dad wants me to attend law school in Trost and live with him, but..."

"I'll be here if you need anything. I know I wasn't there for you before, but I promise. I will be, Eren."

"Thanks, [Name]. Actually, I'm kind of hoping to go to the same school as Mikasa. She and I are...err--dating now."

"Wait, what? Eren, that's amazing! How or when did this happen?"

"It's a long story, [Name]," he chuckled. The thought of Eren's smile brought contentment to your heart. "But I really love her, and she's just been really supportive with getting me off my ass and back on track."

"I see. I'm really happy for you." Even if you hadn't been able to be there for your friend, it was comforting to know he found support in someone else. You had only heard good things about Mikasa from Eren, even if all those good things had mostly been Eren complaining about how she always got higher grades than him. 

"Haha, I am too," Eren said. "But I wanted to ask if you're doing alright too. Were you able to find that change you were looking for?" 

"Well..." The small relief was washed away with a sudden wave of tension. Was there a confident answer you could muster up, even if there were still certain inferiorities you couldn't share with Levi? For Eren's comfort, you'd muster up whatever you could. "Yes, I found it. I'm actually dating someone now too, and it's going well." 

"Is he a good guy?" Eren asked seriously.

"Yes, he's a really good guy," you smiled. 'Probably better than I deserve though,' you thought weakly.

The two of you spoke a little bit more about all that you had missed about each other. It was easy to find things to speak about since you both had practically almost grown up as siblings. It calmed your heart to know that Eren was in a better state than before, even if you still weren't sure how much progress you had truly made. 

Time heals all wounds, was something that had been told to you by many and something that seemed to hold true for those many as well. However, time seemed to be more effective for others. Perhaps you were just a late bloomer, you assured yourself. Or perhaps time wasn't able to fix your wounds. It's not like your problems were special. Trust issues, love issues, past issues -- these were things that everyone went through at least once in life, things that people overcame. But what about you? Why were you always so hesitant to speak about your past with Levi? Did you think he would leave you? He would hate you? He would agree with the reasons why your ex said he left you? Maybe the issue was in yourself...and that was something only you could fix. 

Change was never supposed to be comfortable, and yet so far, "comfortable" was the main descriptor for your relationship with Levi. It was a comfortable affair because Levi made it that way on purpose for your sake and because you allowed him too. Yet, listening to Eren's newfound happiness with Mikasa made you yearn for something in your connection with Levi. Something was still missing, and that something was on your end. 

Maybe, it was time for you to be uncomfortable. 

\-------------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Chapter 9: Selfish (hopefully to be out by next weekend) :'D

Okay so hopefully the transition was clear in this chapter (i tried my best Naomi and Caitlin). The beginning is a sort of "flash back" and then it continues into the reader's thoughts up until today. And then it goes to her call with Eren (because he called her in the previous chapter, remember?). I hope that it's clearer now! 

Sorry for the lack of Levi in this chapter, but he takes the main stage for the next chapters haha XD And I'm sorry this was so late! I got very busy with trying to get ahead with work! My exams are May 4th - May 20th so I probably won't write as much during that time (but it's only 16 days yall. It's not that bad haha....hopefully.)

I hate making you all wait more than 2 weeks and luckily it's only been 10 days ish since the previous chapter. I'll try to keep my updates within a week so hopefullyyyy expect another update next weekend!

I do apologize for all the building of the reader's inferiority, but it's a big step in the fanfic and there's still a lot more to this fic than just her issues. There's also Ymir and Krista (their issue is also in the next chapter!!!). And Levi and Izzy's mom. And let's not forget Izzy and her mommy issues. Lots of stuff to still be covered. XD 

Thank you so much for reading and please leave feedback or a comment if you enjoyed and have time!


	10. Lovely Remedy 9: Selfish

Chapter 9. Selfish

"We need to talk."

You halted midway with one hand reaching over the surface of your cherry wood desk, a pen barely at your fingertip's reach. 

Her arrival was sudden and unexpected as was her voice when she emphasized,

"We need to _talk_."

Ymir was dead serious, and when you finally looked up, you realized that that you were staring into bloodshot, baggy eyes that could kill on-the-spot. You suddenly regretted every patient interaction Ymir had today, wishing you had noticed her appearance sooner. 

"Is this about what happened yesterday?" you asked with concern.

Ymir nodded and then stood up straight. "I'll meet you at the cafeteria for lunch then?"

"Yeah," you said somewhat hesitantly. It was hard to tell if Ymir was studying you for a more affirmative "yes," but she seemed to accept your rinky-dinky answer. She left as quickly as she arrived, like a fleeting moment almost. Seconds of silence passed before you finally reached again for that pen. 

Was it really so strange for Ymir to ask you for advice? Yes, yes it was. She was the self-proclaimed expert at all things that comprise life itself. While she continuously stuck her nose into your business, she really rarely ever shared any of her own. You supposed there wasn't much occurring in her life, hence her interest in others'. But maybe you were wrong?

\---------

"Krista is pregnant."

You were wrong.

"The fight she and I had yesterday was because she's been pregnant for a while and hadn't told me until Reiner left her. And I just wish she had damn said something because I've always told her that he's a shitty unreliable piece of _shit_."

You opened your mouth but realized that now might not be the best time to inform Ymir that she had said "shit" twice, and it surely wasn't the proper way to react. However, it was taking you a while to process this. Krista? Pregnant? 

"She already told Marco though. I understand why. I mean, he's that go-to guy when you need advice, but she couldn't have told me until now?"

Ymir was currently taking her frustration out through a mass-destruction of her baked potato as she impaled it multiple times with her plastic fork. And none of that is what helped you reach the conclusion that seemed to slip from your lips. 

"Ymir, do you like Krista?"

The fork was held mere centimeters above the smashed potato, Ymir's attention focused in struggling not to continue her cathartic motions. 

"Why don't you just tell her?" you coaxed gently. 

"You don't understand, [Name]," Ymir said. She heaved a sigh and threw her fork into the mess of mush she had created. Her chair shifted slightly as she leaned back, eyes staring off into a corner as if she were entranced in deep thought. She probably was because for all you knew, you'd hit the mark with 100% accuracy. 

"What I do understand is that if this continues, the tension in the office will never be over. Be forward. You're such a forward person anyways. What's holding you back now?"

In truth, Ymir was a lot of things you wished you could emulate. Even if she lacked a filter between her mouth and her brain, that was a trait that you looked upon with respect. There was something refreshing about having a person in your life who didn't rely on euphemisms to express themselves.

Then again, such bluntness could also be a negative thing. 

A loud _thump_ alerted your attention, and you looked forward to see Ymir with a hardening gaze setting on you. "What would you know about being forward?"

"Excuse me?"

Her voice increased in range, starting off low and then reaching an intensity louder than you would have preferred in a public setting. "You wouldn't understand since you're allowed to be the selfish one in your relationship." She scoffed, as if she understood everything about you, as if she could read you like a book. And that type of arrogance was something that irritated you more than you should have allowed it to. 

A fierce gaze was directed from you to Ymir. It was a silent warning for her to stop, but like a raging bull, she'd need more than one tranquilizer shot to stop now that you'd waved a red flag.  

"Don't look at me like you don't know what I'm saying, [Name]. Do you know what it's like to _wait_ for someone? No, of course you wouldn't. You wouldn't because you're selfish!"

"Ymir, leave my relationship out of this. I'm just trying to tell you that---"

"You wouldn't understand the point of view of the one who's actually trying!"

"Ymir, seriously st---"

"No, you shut up, [Name]. At least Krista doesn't know I like her. I can't blame her for not telling me, and I guess Marco probably reacted better than I would have. But your relationship? What excuse do you have for holding back on your partner? He obviously cares about you. After all, he didn't fuck you in his car. For some goddamn reason, he genuinely likes you."

The way she spat out her words, it felt as if there was a reason for Levi to not like you. There was...there were many, but you didn't want her to know that. You didn't want to hear it. And yet, you could only choke on your own spit as you continued to listen to her insults.

"What are you scared of, [Name]? Commitment? Bullshit. There's no happy middle ground with the way you're approaching your relationship. You're just continuously taking without giving!"

You looked at her unbelievably. Maybe you weren't "giving" as much as someone normally would, but Ymir knew about your past. She knew how much it had affected you. How dare she not realize how much harder it was for you to be honest with yourself and with Levi. For all you knew, he could leave you in a heartbeat. 

...so how dare she not give you special treatment for going through something everyone goes through, heartbreak.

Ymir huffed and snatched away the leftovers of her food. "Don't clump my relationship with Krista in the same boat as the one you have with your fuckboy," she snarled before leaving. 

You wish her insults had left with her, but they still burned into your heart, simply because she had affirmed your fears. Your heart truly was placed on a pedestal, your top priority, but how could a heart like that ever be embraced in a relationship? 

Simple. It couldn't. 

It was a safety net. Your heart would never become so entangled in a relationship that it couldn't escape again. You couldn't expect more from Levi than what you gave him. That was the unfortunate truth. 

By now, your food was cold, as if the match the aura surrounding you. There was no flaming anger, no fury in your features, just guilt that jabbed at your side. Was this what it felt like to finally realize just how weak you were? 

\---------

There was a knock at your door, and for a moment, you were relieved that the arrival was not the tan brunette. But it was Krista instead, of all people. Her blue eyes and the way they stared directly into yours made you feel uneasy. 

"Is there anything I can help you with, Krista?" you asked as politely as you could manage. It was difficult to restrain your voice to keep from wavering, but you didn't want to potentially upset her by revealing that you knew about her situation. 

"I'm sure you've heard from either Ymir or Dr. Bott already," she started. You suddenly realized why the look in her eyes unsettled you. She was clearly telling you that she didn't need to be treated like a porcelain doll, and the sudden unwavering strength in her features was a sight you hadn't seen...and one that for some reason, you didn't like.

"I'm sure these past few days have been difficult for you. Do you need to take some time off?" 

"No," she answered. "On the contrary, I wanted to apologize for my mistakes these past few months. Now that Reiner isn't in my life anymore, I'll be able to put my full attention in work." Her words were firm. 

"I see. I'm happy to see that change in you, but remember to take care of yourself as well."

"I will, Dr. [Last]."

"I also...hope you and Ymir and able to make up soon."

"I hope so too. She's been my biggest support through the relationship. I can understand why she's upset that I didn't go to her first when I found out that I was pregnant." 

It probably wasn't in your place to ask this question, and you figured Marco has already spoken to her about this, but just in case, there was still something that concerned you. 

"I know that this is none of my business, Krista, but will you keep the baby? There's a chance that Reiner might come back, and might fight for custody."

Her silence made you raise a brow, as if you'd found a crack in her armor. But you were wrong. She wasn't searching for her voice or reason, just a way to make it very clear to you how strongly she felt. 

"That's actually one of the other reasons why Ymir is angry, but...this baby, _my_ baby, chased Reiner away. I want to raise my child, and I'm prepared to fight Reiner in court if he attempts to even touch a hair on my baby."

And she did. You hoped that your features didn't carry the same surprise that you felt welling inside of you. Krista was someone who you knew to make constant mistakes. Most of the time you had heard her speak, it was a stuttering apology. However, hearing her now was proof that your analysis of the blonde was just surface level...or maybe you had just been biased. Maybe it was comforting to paint someone with the same or even more weakness than you, someone who couldn't do anything right, someone who could never change, someone who constantly needed to be compensated for by someone else. 

And yet right now at this very moment, that superficial shell of delusion was cracking. You were the weak one, the only one in fact who couldn't move forward with her life. It was a fact you couldn't stomach.

"Dr. [Last]?" Krista broke the silence. 

"I see. I think your decision is a sound one, Krista, and if you need anything, please let me know." It was a very trained response but all that you could rely on at the moment. 

Krista said her thanks and bid you farewell, and you immediately grabbed your purse to leave the office for the day. In the parking garage, you dialed Levi's number. Your fingers shook as they pressed the buttons. 

"Hey," Levi responded from the other line.

Today was a voice exercise with the number of times you needed to force your voice to not waver. "Hey, Levi. Do you have time to meet up today?" 

'Damn it all if he doesn't,' you thought. 

"This week's busy, [Name]. How about Thursday?" 

Three days. Would you manage to contain it until then? It felt as if all your emotions suddenly rose to the surface, so you pressed your lips shut to keep them from spilling out.

"Hey, is this important?" Levi suddenly asked with concern. But you didn't want him to be concerned over something like this. 

"No, it's not. I have a meeting, so I'll talk to you later, Levi."

You never did call him back up again that day or the next. He probably assumed you were busy, and you were, with trying to figure out just what you wanted to tell him and how. Drama in the office between Ymir and Krista and yourself only burdened you with even more internal stress. It was like a cold war between two pairs, you and Ymir and Krista and Ymir. There was even a point where you were happier to work with Krista than Ymir, because every word from Ymir's mouth was like hearing "selfish" on repeat. 

There was a cancerous growth in your heart that stole more oxygen every day until you ran out of any voice to reciprocate against it. The more you realized just how useless you were, the more you felt as if you didn't deserved Levi. 

Finally, on Wednesday night, you declared defeat. There was too much tension in the air, too much negativity floating in your head, so you left work early if 6 pm could be considered "early." You supposed it was earlier than Dr. Bott though, who unfortunately had a few more cases to work on. 

To be honest, stress relief was not your forte. It was hard to remember how you'd even made it through schooling, but maybe education-related stress was nothing compared to the stresses of real life and human emotion. 

Normally, consulting Dr. Bott would be your first choice, but there was an extent to which you could rely on your colleague's aid and advice. Maybe calling Eren or another friend would help, but they were miles away and probably busy with their own lives. Perhaps, you should have socialized more and made friends for times like these, but having engrossed yourself in work ever since you moved to Trost, you rarely found time to do so. You could almost laugh with the way it seemed as if you had written your fate off as forever alone. 

You didn't have a friend who truly understood all that you were going through right now, and no one who you wanted to fill in at the moment, so you settled on another method, one that was often used by friend and foe alike, one that you truly questioned the efficacy of, but it was a potent drug at the right dose. 

Maybe it would have been better to have been born a tub-of-ice cream gal, is what you thought as you filled your cart with cheap alcohol. 

There was more than just alcohol in the cart of course, bland cereal to because no matter what you ate in the morning, the taste on your tongue was always regret, ready-to-bake meals because the effort required to cook after a late night at work was slowly making you starve. It was already bad enough to be depressed but hungry also? Not your cup of tea. 

Your cart was disappointing, and you silently hoped to yourself that it'd be filled with better contents the next week when this storm of stress passed.

Or now. It needed to be fixed now because there was a familiar figure approaching with his daughter. He was the last person you wanted to see in this state, and your stomach nearly flipped as you realized that he had definitely seen you. 

If the shame of carrying alcohol in your cart wasn't so distasteful, maybe you would have taken time to appreciate the adorable and maybe slightly disturbing scene of Levi pushing a cart with his daughter at his side (disturbing because they both carried that same glare in their eyes). But instead, you were focused on throwing the cereal boxes over the bottles. 

Izzy quickly shot you scowl and tugged at her father's sleeve, presumably to excuse herself somewhere else. A sigh of relief washed over your lips when she left, and the aisle only consisted of you and Levi. 

"Grocery shopping?" You mustered a smile towards Levi, but he was already studying your cart. 

"And you? Shopping for the alcohol apocalypse?" he asked while sliding over the boxes to reveal the glass necks. 

"It's for a party." You acted as if you were insulted when all you really wanted was for Levi to leave you be. Clearly, with the way his hand gripped over one of your wrists, that wasn't going to happen.  

"A party of one with cheap alcohol? Do you take me for an idiot, [Name]?" 

His fingers dug deep into your skin. There was an anger emanating from his skin that you hadn't felt before. It sent shivers down your shoulder as you tried to resist, but he only gripped tighter. Your voice was caught in your throat by a net that seemed to pull the walls of your trachea in. 

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he insisted. 

For the first time, Levi was scary. His intimidation was frightening. You always knew he carried potential. You'd seen hints every so often but never the full-blown event. He was controlled, like a tame beast. And it felt as if you had unlocked something you shouldn't have. 

Tears welled in your eyes, your stuttering breaths reaching Levi's ears as he immediately let go and collected himself. 

"[Name], I'm---"

You flinched away from his outstretched arm, immediately regretting it when you saw his expression grow downcast. 

"Sorry, I just...this isn't the place to talk about it, Levi."

"I know. I'm sorry too," he said quietly. 

"I'll speak to you tomorrow about this, okay?" 

"[Name]." He said your name so gently that you looked at him with shock. He silently collected the bottles and replaced them on the shelf. 

"I'll come over tonight if you don't drink," he promised. He hesitated to touch your hand and instead chose to brush the hair away from your forehead. His calloused hand was warm on your skin, and you found yourself turning toward the cup of his palm. You missed him so much. There was no mistake just how much you loved him and how much you needed him right now. You made that apparent in the way your lips parted softly, as if begging to feel his lips on yours. 

Too bad the two of you were so rudely disturbed with an "ahem" stemming from a small, ruby-haired girl who had already taken hostage of Levi's cart and was beginning to roll it away. 

Levi huffed in annoyance. "I'll see you later, [Name]."

"Yeah..." you said faintly as he left. You waited for them to leave the aisle before turning towards the shelves again, one hand gripping over a bottle's neck the same way your emotions were beginning to strangle you again.

"Sorry, Levi..."

\---------

You were drunk -- on juice, pasta, and cheese but not alcohol. One sip, and you were reminded once again why you never liked the taste of fermented grapes that hadn't been doused in sugar and syrup or anything the hide the taste. 

"What a waste," you supposed as you dumped it straight down the drain of your kitchen sink. You then walked over to the living room and sank into your couch to continue watching reruns of _House._ Maybe for the time being, it was better to surround yourself with distractions until tomorrow. 

Your hand reached for your cell phone as you dialed Levi. There was no need for him to go out of his way for you. If he was busy this week, he was probably already working late at the hotel. You didn't need to have him visit you at this hour. You were an adult. You didn't need to be spoiled, even by your lover. 

A click signaled that your call went through.

"Hey Levi, let's just meet tomorrow. There's no need to come over tonight. I'm fine."

"Well, you're too late, [Name]. It's cold outside. Hurry up."

You nearly jumped up, startled when you heard the doorbell ring. The door was opened to reveal Levi, leaning on one leg as his hand held his cell to his ear. He ended the call and slid it into his pocket. 

"What are you even doing here?"

"Enjoying the weather," he replied sarcastically. 

You stepped aside to let him in, and he grimaced immediately. 

"Smells disgusting," he commented. 

"It's the alcohol I dumped down the sink."

"Not worth your money, right? If you'd called me over and bought decent shit, I could have made something more appetizing."

"You've worked as a bartender before?"

"I've worked as a lot of things.

"Enlighten me," you joked, and Levi rolled his eyes in response. 

"I've worked as a lot of things, and I thought I was decent at being the boyfriend, but [Name], I'm fucking worried about you."

The lines under his eyes only spoke to how tired Levi was right now, and he had still made the trip to see you. It felt that with every effort, he was once again proving just how much you really didn't deserve all that he gave you, not without showing him the same.  

"I am too honestly. I'm sorry. Things just got really stressful at the office and with a friend, and I just..." 

Your voice trailed off, wondering where or how you should even start with all that had happened, how much should you mention, if there were things that were just a waste of time to mention. The way Levi's fingers rubbed circles on the back of your hand told you otherwise though. You didn't need to think about those things. You just needed to speak. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Pressing your lips together as the tears finally over-flooded the dam of your emotional stability, you answered, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

\-------------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Chapter 10: His happiness, her happiness (hopefully to be out by next weekend) Exams are May 4-20th so please understand if updating takes longer than usual!

//praying that this chapter does not suck ass right now. I start to feel uneasy about chapters after chapter 7ish for all my series. ;_;

I can't even tell you how hard it is to write chapters that have a lot of feels. It's a lot harder than to write chapters with action. :'D But I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!

Chapter 10 is gonna have a LOT of Izzy. I'm not gonna lie. It's going to be as heartfelt as I can manage. Poor kid is so sweet honestly. I love her a lot. And her happiness is so important too <3 Children see more than adults think, in my opinion. 

Anyways, thank you so much for reading and please leave feedback or a comment if you enjoyed and have time!


	11. Lovely Remedy 10: His happiness, her happiness

Chapter 10. His happiness, her happiness

"He was the first person who I really loved, I think."

Levi could clearly see by the look in your eyes that it wasn't an, "I think." You knew just how much you had cared for the ass who tore you down, who ripped your heart straight from your chest, breaking a few ribs in the process as he pulled out to leave some lasting damage. 

Levi knew because he held those same feelings for Izzy's mother. She was the first person who he really loved, and the first person who broke him. 

Between the two of you, was it possible to say who had it worse? Levi, whose partner completely disappeared without a word and left him to raise a child on his own, or you, whose partner left them with scarring, lasting words and found someone he thought was better? 

"I honestly thought we were okay, you know? I mean, I know I was busy with work all the time, but my residency program was almost complete. I was finally going to have some more free time in my life to spend with him."

It was easy for Levi to imagine how hard you had worked to balance your relationship and professional training. You probably took everything with a smile, good or bad, held your head up high. The more he felt the excitement that must have been in your expression as the ending of your program neared, the more sick Levi felt. He was aware that there were twisted people in this world, but he'd never get used to it. The thought of someone taking advantage of you made his stomach curl. 

Eyes downcast, your whispered words broke Levi's thoughts. "I thought he'd be happy...I guess I should have realized something was wrong when he wasn't jumping in joy. If I caught it any earlier, I wonder if it would have been different..."

"[Name]." Levi lifted your chin with the side of his finger. "There's no hope with people like that. You can do everything in the world to make them happy, and they'll still break you." Immediately, Levi withdrew his hand as you looked at him with questioning eyes. He hadn't meant to use that tone of voice, the voice he used when he spoke in detail about his own past. 

He was referring to Izzy's mom, a woman he tried to please with all that she asked for. It was never enough for her though. Chronically unhappy, was the best descriptor. She always claimed she felt like "a bird in a cage," and all that Levi did for her just created a weak, rusty cage that she'd break out of one day. And when she did, she locked her lover and their daughter in, taking the key with her. 

She made sure to leave a mess when she left. 

"When I found out about the affair," you continued, "I confronted him on the same day. I didn't think he'd confirm it so easily...and he blamed me."

Maybe there was some benefit in hearing those parting words, compared to the unrest in Levi's mind, on nights filled in nostalgia, nights when he wondered where Izzy's mom even was. It was a morning like any other when Levi woke up at 5 am to change for work. That's when he realized the space on the bed next to him was empty. Her parents, Izzy's maternal grandparents, were just as stunned. She left them all one message,

_Don't come looking for me._

Were there thoughts that plagued you at night? 

"It's been 6 months, and it's getting better, but sometimes, I'll still replay that last fight in my head, where he lists all the things he hated about me, all the things that apparently his new girlfriend lives up to. He claimed he didn't want to let me go yet because he didn't want to hurt me. But...I don't understand that." 

Strands of hair fell off your shoulders as you leaned over your knees, elbows resting over your thighs. The floor in sight went in and out of focus as the tears began again. 

"D-doesn't this hurt more?" you choked out in sobs. Levi shifted towards you on the couch and gently pulled you closer. His hand ran up and down your back, and he could feel the heat of your tears seep into his ironed shirt. 

'Yeah, this hurts more,' Levi thought to himself. Seeing someone he loves suffering like this was more painful than he had imagined. Maybe that was why his ex left him. Maybe she was suffering too, except he didn't see it, or he denied it, so that he wouldn't feel the way he felt with you, hurt and helpless to stop the tears, only able to wipe them away as they came. 

Levi pushed those regrets to the back of his mind. Unlike you, it had been years since his Izzy's mom left him. Too much time had passed to try and find answers now. He had already decided to move on long ago, even if he had to do it alone at the time while supporting his own child. The effort to stand back up was not foreign to Levi, so at the very least, he wanted to protect you from the voices of remorse, the allure of distractions like alcohol, the dangerous things that humans resorted to when they hadn't felt happy in a long time. He had almost fallen in many of these traps. Having to care for his daughter was the only motivation that gave him strength to dig his way out. 

Without question, Levi knew you were a strong person. The way you carried yourself during work, the way you stood up for that girl in his hotel -- you'd surely be able to fix your heart again, and he'd be here to support you from the sidelines. 

After all, he knew that love, no matter how strong, didn't always heal the injured. In the end, the only person capable of fixing you, was you. 

His nose buried into the roots of your hair as your crying began to soften and follow with hiccups. Your tear-stricken eyes stared up at Levi, your mouth parted slightly. Self control held Levi from dipping down to claim a kiss.

Instead, he whispered a small, "I love you."

And you smiled, your forehead falling against his chest to listen to the pace of his heartbeat, a pace that pacified your own heart. 

"Thank you."

\-----------

You don't have to go," you said. "You could always stay the night." Your hand squeezed the doorknob tightly as the cool night wind brushed the hair from your face. Soft fingers rubbed your cold forearm as you held on steadily, unsure of whether to say anything else. There was something about tonight that was going to make you miss his presence, more than you ever had before. 

"I can't." His voice was adamant, but his eyes told a different story though when you finally bothered to look up from the ground. 

"Why?"

A large warm hand closed over yours as Levi leaned in to take your lips. He pressed into you and let off slowly, his eyes watching yours the entire time as his face seemed to drift away further. The gesture reminded you of one of those memory foam mattresses, the ones that when you lay on them for the first time, embrace you in this delicate softness. Those mattresses never forgot the impression of your body, and that's exactly how his kiss felt. It felt unforgettable. 

You were barely aware of his lips leaving yours until you heard him say, "Because if I stay, _that_ will move to the bedroom and we both have a busy day tomorrow."

Your face heated red in shame, and your lips pressed together tightly as you nearly broke the knob off the door in embarrassment.

"I'll call you tomorrow, _______," he said coolly. 

His car left, and the rest of the night was a daze. You were a daze. It should have been illegal for someone to be that romantic. What was even with that?

Eyes shut tightly, you turned away from your nightstand and opened your eyes to the empty space of sheets next to you. It's not like you would have minded a sleepless night...if it was a night you spent with Levi.

\-----------

After the many times you had shared your past with friends and family, and after the many times you thought it would help, the many times you were _told_ it would help, and it never did, it felt strange that something had now settled in your heart. It was a cathartic feeling, as if a boulder of emotions had fallen off your shoulders. You found yourself slowly beginning to open up to Levi about how you and your ex had met and how he seemed to change over the years of the relationship. You told Levi about your fears and insecurities, but unlike before, it was easier to believe that none of your nightmares would play into reality. Levi clearly wasn't leaving any time soon. In fact, he even spoke to you more about Izzy, and you were starting to hope you'd be able to connect with his daughter as well. 

"Do you have kids, Dr. [Last]?"

You looked up at your patient who was swinging her legs over the exam bed. She was a young teenager who was known in your office for being purposely invasive and a bit cheeky. She was at the age where you started interviewing patients without their parents in the room to ask about drug use, smoking, diets, boyfriends, things that children wouldn't readily admit in front of their parents. Of course, you did have a few patients like her, who felt that if you asked them personal questions, they deserved to bombard you with a few of their own. 

"No, Naomi. I don't," you answered, hoping to quickly focus the exam again. However, your vibrating phone interrupted your train of thought, and you checked the caller ID to make sure it wasn't anything serious. 

'Levi...?' you thought as you switched your cell to silent and slid it back into your pocket. He knew your work hours, so it was rare for him to call so early in the afternoon. 

"Dr. Last, do you have a boyfriend?" the young girl smirked. 

You raised a brow at her suggestive tone. "Yes, I do, Naomi. Do you?"

"I do! His name is Edward Elric!"

"Really? Is he a classmate?"

"No, he's from this show called Full Metal Alchemist, but he's absolutely gorgeous. I have a picture of him on my phone! Do you wanna see?"

She practically thrust her iPhone into your face, forcing you to move back to avoid getting hit. On the screen was a blonde, short cartoon character.

"I see..."

Kids were always so strange in the way they fell in love with fictional characters. You stifled a laugh as you wondered if Izzy had a similar love interest. 

"What's so funny?" Naomi interrogated as she cuddled the phone to her chest. 

"Nothing, Naomi. Just wondering if your parents have approved of him."

"They haven't, so you better not tell them!" Her innocent love wove a smile on your lips. 

"Of course."

\-----------

"Hey Levi, you called?" The phone was pressed to your ear by your shoulder as you tried to double-task and document your previous appointment. 

"Yeah, sorry. Did I call when you were with a patient?"

"Mhm, you hummed. "You got her started on a mission to interrogate my love life when you called. It was a painful process," you said jokingly.

A tongue clicked from the other line. "Sounds rough," Levi responded with sarcasm. "Hey, can I ask for a favor?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"I'm busy at the hotel and Izzy's grandparents can't pick her up from school. Our neighbor's also out of town. Would you be able to?"

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Chapter 11. Hide and don't seek. (to be out HOPEFULLY around may 10th ish) Exams are May 4th-May 20th.

So I do apologize for this choppy chapter, but exam week really just degrades any skills I have haha. However, I thought it was acceptable enough to post because in the end, I'm happy with it. :) I hope you all are too. 

And yes I lied about this chapter being full of Izzy cuz I thought I would have time to include it all but couldn't because of exams. >_


	12. Lovely Remedy 11: Hide and don't seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this took so long! but summer has come and i already took my summer vacay so we're good for the next and last 3 chapters! :'D

//this chapter was literally the death of me and I'm so sorry for the late upload. 

Chapter 11. Hide and don't seek

If Izzy learned anything from the mother who abandoned her family, it was that fear was a powerful tool, a means by which you could rule over another's actions. From day one, her mother instilled a fear in Izzy, a fear of abandonment by the one person who truly loved her, her father. Bound by these shackles, Izzy was forced to lie and lie again to entertain her mother's wishes. She would lie to her father about going to the park or eating out with her mom when in fact, her mother had spent the entire day glued to her laptop and left Izzy to herself. 

Maybe she thought she could win her mother's love, but it soon became a permanent fact that Izzy's mother would never love her the way Izzy loved her. Izzy learned betrayal at a young age and soon turned bitter, hating her mother for the stories she forced Izzy to fabricate. The relationship between loving mothers and their children in the books Izzy read in silence or in the stories she heard from her bubbling classmates added just enough details to the tales to make them almost believable. There was even a point where Izzy resented how easily her father believed her, but even more than that, she hated how fearful she was of her mother's threats. 

'If you try to tell Levi the truth, he won't believe you. He'll think you're a bad kid and put you up for adoption.'

That threat was enough to silence young Izzy's lips. Her father had become the only person who Izzy really loved; he didn't treat her like a babysitting job like her mother did. Even if he only came home when Izzy was about to sleep, there was something different in the way her father looked at her compared to the disdainful stare she received from her mother. Izzy didn't want to lose him to that witch, so she lied to protect whatever little interactions they had, in hopes that maybe her mother would one day disappear from their lives. 

But when her wish came true, Izzy soon realized that she should have been more careful about what she wished for. It's not that she missed her mother. No, Izzy was grateful for her disappearance. The burden of the threats that her mother spat at her, the lies she made Izzy believe that her father would leave her -- she wasn't chained anymore or so she thought. 

A new seed of fear dug into Izzy's conscience. If everything was her fault, if her mother left because Izzy wasn't able to make her happy, what if Izzy wasn't able to live up to her father's expectations? What if Izzy was a burden to her father instead? 

From then on, Izzy was driven by fear to listen and never ask for more than the minimum. She didn't put up any opposition in staying with her grandparents when her father had to work late, even though she wished she could greet him when he came home. She grew even wiser with age, learned how to be polite with the neighbors who often helped them, even did some of the chores at the house. 

She didn't want to chase her father away the same way she did her mother. 

'What if Dad sees me the way Mom did?' she'd ask herself repeatedly. 

So Izzy never spoke back, never argued. She always listened, hoping that she wouldn't cause trouble, hoping that she'd make her father happy. And in Izzy's mind, everything seemed okay. The Ackerman family was never known for smiling, but in her heart, Izzy had convinced herself that their family was happy. 

'Dad won't run away...right?'

Then, her father met you, and that seed of fear germinated, new vines wrapping around her heart in a way that choked her when she saw you that first day. Suddenly, it felt as if all the chains on her chest of patience broke. She never wanted to acknowledge you, but her outburst confirmed that she had already done so. 

You seemed to make her father happy in a way that Izzy couldn't. 

And Izzy resented you for that with all of her heart. 

\--------------

If looks could kill, then you'd probably be stabbed in the heart. Repeatedly. You reminded yourself to keep your eyes on the road, but it was impossible to miss Izzy's intense glare through the rear-view mirror. 

"How was your day, Izzy?" you attempted to strike up a conversation. 

The young girl sitting in the backseat was focused on her phone, her fingers sliding left and right over the screen as she played a game.  

Without bothering to look up, she answered, "Decent."

'A decent day?' you thought. That sort of wording was pretty strange for a 10 year old, but it seemed like a very Levi-like answer, one expected of his daughter. 

"Did your class do anything during P.E.?"

"Dodgeball."

Dodgeball -- you could work with this, you reassured yourself as you tried to keep the conversation going. "Oh, did your group win?"

"No...but I hit a guy in the face with a ball."

You caught a smug look on Izzy's face and smiled to yourself. 'She's bragging,' you thought. 

"Was he okay afterwards?"

"No, I kind of messed up his face."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, he kind of looked like you."

Her brash response didn't startle you. You'd seen plenty of sassy children, and Izzy was no different. There was a key to winning against them.

"Really? I bet he must be quite handsome then," you smirked.

And just like that, Izzy looked up from her phone, mouth dropped slightly as she tried to find another way to insult you. She knew she couldn't without making herself look silly, so she "tsked" and went back to her game. You sighed wearily. Getting along was clearly going to be an uphill battle. 

\--------------

As you and Izzy walked down the hall towards the suite for Trost Pediatrics, you attempted to engage her in another conversation. 

"Your hair looks nice, Izzy," you complimented. You wondered if those symmetrical pigtails of hers were Levi's work or her own. Either way, they were impressive, not a single strand out of place. 

"Yeah well, yours doesn't," she responded. 

"Haha, with the amount of sleep I got last night, I'm quite certain it looks messy." It was easy for you to laugh Izzy's comment off because in all honesty, she spoke the truth. But you had a feeling she was being especially critical of just you. That was understandable though. She and Levi had been by themselves for the past four years. You didn't expect her to warm up easily to a stranger and had already resolved yourself to trying harder. 

You didn't hold any expectations or high hopes for today, which was so far turning out to be a good idea. 

"Your office is _filthy_ ," Izzy commented when you both walked inside. She took a seat across from your desk "Dad would hate it."

"Yeah, last time your father came here, he tried cleaning it up, and I couldn't find a single thing. From then on, he was never allowed touch anything here," you joked. 

The office grew quiet, with a silent warning from Izzy's narrow eyes that told you just how much she hated hearing about any interactions between you and Levi. You filed that note in the back of your mind but didn't scold yourself for the tension in the air. It was important to learn more about Izzy by interacting with her. 

Unfortunately however, you still had a few cases to see, so you were in and out of the office to visit patients. Marco and the other staff all greeted Izzy, and she seemed to speak to them a bit more sweetly than she did to you. You tried not to mind the discrepancy in treatment, but a small part of you wanted Izzy to accept you quickly. 

You needed to wait though. One day wasn't enough. You knew that. 

The rest of the day passed without another word spoken between you two. You were too busy filling out important forms, and Izzy was preoccupied with her cell phone game once again. 

Finally, after the office closed for the day, you received a text from Levi that he was on his way towards Trost Pediatrics. 

You were quick to unlock the front door of the suite when Levi arrived. His eyes seemed a bit more sunken than usual, and he had taken his tie off. The top buttons of this wrinkled shirt were unbuttoned, and you imagined the day had started out with a pristine, ironed dress shirt. 

You gave him a light kiss on the cheek before stepping aside to let him in. "Long day at work?"

He sighed heavily. "Yeah, just a lot of inept people handling important paperwork and screwing everything up." 

"Well, Izzy's been waiting for you. You both can go rest at home now," you smiled. 

Levi's eyes suddenly sparked with a curiosity. "Were you both able to get along?"

"Uh, not really. She told me I looked like a kid who got hit in the face with a dodgeball."

"Geez, ______, I hope you know you don't."

You laughed. "Don't worry, Levi. I'm not sensitive to that sort of thing. I deal with children for a living, so I'm used to their brutal honesty."

"I was honestly hoping you and Izzy would get along."

You hummed to yourself in thought. "Maybe we should try doing something together next time -- the three of us."

"Yeah, when I get some free time from work, let's go to the zoo or something," Levi agreed. You both walked towards the back of the suite towards your office. 

Pushing the door open, you began, "Izzy, your father is here to---"

There was no one in sight, and you frantically walked inside and looked under the desk and around the shelves. 

"Izzy!" Levi called, but there was no response. 

"Call her cell phone. I'll check the bathrooms."

You ran outside the check the restrooms in your office, but both were empty. Fear was slowly overwhelming your mind, and you returned quickly. 

"Were you able to reach her?" you questioned. 

"It went straight to voicemail. _______, this office was locked, right?"

You nodded. "You can't enter from the outside without a key, but you can leave. Besides the entrance that you came in through, we have an entrance for the waiting room. She might have left through there, but why would she---"

"I don't know, but I'll search the hallway then. Call me if you find her in the suite," he said quickly but calmly. Levi darted out of your office to go search for Izzy. 

A number of potential places she could have been ran through your head as you searched the suite starting with Marco's office. You opened every door you could find, looked behind every corner for a hint of Izzy's red hair but found nothing. Fear and the sudden need to hasten your pace were already creeping over your shoulders as you threw open large cabinets, praying you'd find her soon. It was when you ran past the patient exam rooms that you heard a small sound from exam room 3. Approaching the room slowly, you breathed deeply, letting your ears adjust to the surroundings. You could hear small noises from behind the door. 

You approached the room slowly, pushing the door open and asking hesitantly, "Izzy? Is that you?" You switched the light on and saw a small figure crouching behind the patient bed. Kneeling down, you placed a hand on her trembling shoulders. "Izzy, are you okay?"

She smacked your hand away and then quickly brought her arms closer to her body, as if trying to seem smaller. You looked at her quietly, a small patch of red forming on the skin where she hit you. Sighing, you decided to first text Levi that you'd found her before trying again. 

"Izzy, what's wrong?"

"..." she mumbled in a small voice.

"What?" You tried to coax an answer from her but kept your hands at your sides for her comfort. 

Her tiny fists balled in anger. "You!" she suddenly cried in an outburst. "Everything about you is wrong! I don't understand why...why you..." Once again, her head was already back in her arms, her tears hidden but her weeping clear as day to your ears. You placed a gentle hand again on her shoulder, and she didn't push you away. 

"What don't you understand, Izzy?"

She answered in a quiet, muffled voice, "I don't understand how you make my dad smile. I can't make him happy the same way you do. It's unfair, and I hate you!"

Your hand retracted slowly as disappointment filled your features. You'd encroached on the very territory you had hoped you never would, and you did it without any realization. Izzy was insecure. If you thought about her situation, it made sense. Her father was almost always working late nights. Sometimes, she wouldn't even see him until the next day. Even if Levi worked around his busy schedule to see you and not give any time with Izzy, every minute of his that you took was one that Izzy lost with the only person who she really had in her life. 

There was a shell of guilt encasing your heart as you realized that it wasn't your place to console her. As if to look for help, you turned back to see Levi peering through the slit of the door. His regretful expression told you that he'd heard every word. Motioning for him to come inside, you stood up and looked down at the small girl in front of you. You wondered what your mother would have done in this situation. She'd probably scoop you up with ease and rock you in her arms until you calmed down. Your hands were too shaky, too unfamiliar with the shoes you wanted to fill. And that was just something you needed to accept, something that would come in time if Izzy ever came to accept you. 

You apologized in silence to Izzy and left her. Even though Levi placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder and whispered a small thank you before walking forward, you felt undeserving of any gratitude. You wanted to apologize to him as well, but he was already at Izzy's side, arms wrapped around as she cried on his shoulder. 

This was their bond to mend, so you left the father and daughter to give them privacy. Heading back to your office, you packed your belongings and sat at your desk, waiting patiently for them to come get you, so you could all go home.

\-----------------------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS.

Chapter 12: Just the girls (to be out: May 7th. I promise. School is over and it's summer so Im finally home-free haha)

Just the girls -- focuses on reader and Izzy bonding a bit with a dash of Levi cuz he's too handsome to leave out of any chapter lol.

I'm not even going to try to give you all an excuse for why this was so late. Well, I will try. It was mainly finding the right words to describe this entire situation. I don't really think i did it justice, and I never expected to because I don't have any personal experience with anything that's going on with the Ackerman family. However, I did my best and hope that shows. 

We've got three more chapters until the end which means we have 3 more hurdles (as in conflicts to resolve) to get through. Gosh, can you even imagine how far we've come? From single to dating to finding out that said date has a daughter to Erwin still completely unaware that his cousin Levi is dating you. LOLOLOL. 

I really hope you did like this. If you have time, please leave a comment! I really appreciate it X3


	13. Lovely Remedy 12: Just the girls

Chapter 12. Just the girls

"And so yeah, I was an asshole."

You knew there was an "I'm sorry" missing there. She did too, but she was probably hoping you wouldn't notice or that you would let it go. Much to her chagrin, you weren't as innocent or naively forgiving as she thought, so you crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow to signal that you wanted more. A half-empty apology would not win her your favor. 

"And I'm...sorry," she somewhat reluctantly continued. They were foreign words on her lips, probably explaining the awkward pause she had in her apology, but you had known from the start that you'd forgive her (even if you didn't admit it aloud). There was no point holding a grudge, though it was a little fun to see her a bit frazzled. 

"Apology accepted," you smiled. 

Ymir sighed in relief and ran her fingers through her hair up to her pony tail. "Yeah, and I didn't mean to call your man a fuckboy, but I mean honestly, all men are--"

_"Ymir."_

"Tch." The tan woman snatched her soft drink from the table and sucked vigorously on the straw. "So you never spilled who your guy is anyways." She eyed you with suspicion, and you faked an innocent expression. 

"Oh, I didn't tell you about Levi?" you teased. A satisfying smirk fell upon your face when Ymir nearly dropped her drink. 

"Levi?! As in Levi Ackerman?! Erwin's cousin?!"

"Yep."

"Does Erwin know?"

"I'm not really sure. Levi and I haven't talked about it, and I'm assuming Izzy hasn't really said anything to her uncle either." You shrugged your shoulders coolly and took a bite out of your sandwich. Needless to say though, you were nearly shaking in your boots from the excitement of finally revealing your relationship. 

"God, I feel so betrayed!"

"Think of it as payback," you grinned. 

Ymir muttered a "whatever" before her face suddenly lit up. "You know, ______, I'm curious since I've never done it with a guy. So how's Levi in bed?"

You hurriedly looked left and right to make sure no one else's ears were involved in this conversation. "Ymir, oh my god, is anything other than sex on your mind?" you whispered harshly. 

"Probably not."

\---------------

By the time lunch ended, you had finally shaken Ymir off and were back in the office. You sat at your desk to review a few patient documents. Paperwork was always so mind-numbing in your opinion, but it was also something that had little margin for error, so you paid close attention until your phone started ringing. 

It was Levi. 

You answered the call and put Levi on speaker, your attention focused on the stack of papers in front of you. 

"Hey, what's up?" you asked, eyes scanning word after word.  

"I'm running late with picking Izzy up again. She has two tardies and the third ends up with her getting lunch detention...again. This school is full of shit," Levi muttered. 

"Yeah, the school administration can be a pain sometimes," you sighed with understanding. "I can pick her up. We're closing the office early today anyways, and I was about to head home. How was your trip with Izzy this weekend? You both went to that water-park, right? "

"Yeah, I took the opportunity of explaining why public pools are literally full of shit and pee, and--"

"Levi, you did _not_ just ruin a child's dreams. Did you?!"

"She'll thank me in the future. We found an amusement park instead and went there. Almost broke my back on some of the roller coasters."

"You would have deserved it." 

"Really? Because I can think of a few things you'd miss if I broke my back. It'd probably be hard to---"

"Levi!"

"--into you." 

Your teeth sank into your lip in frustration. You could practically feel Levi's smirking lips on your skin. He knew he'd won this time. With nothing else to say to him, you immaturely decided to hang up and pack your belongings. Your leather purse swung over your shoulders, you made you way out of the office in a rush to make it to the school in time. 

When you got into your car, the phone at the side of your hip buzzed. A text message from Levi read, "Thanks. I owe you."

He really did, and hopefully he'd pay you back with a date Saturday night. 

You drove off to Izzy's school, whizzing past traffic until you made it to the school's carpool area. No red-head in sight, you noticed. Paying closer attention to the crowd of students, you surveyed their little heads, one-by-one, and caught a glint of red hair under a hoodie. Said child was already approaching your car. 

Izzy opened the door to your backseats and slid in the far corner away from the driver's seat. You could still barely see under the hood shrouding her face, but her body language already told you that she'd had a bad day. 

"So how was school?" you asked, watching Izzy buckle her seatbelt. 

"Sucked," she responded curtly, letting her hood fall over her shoulders. Gasping, you turned around to get a closer look at her hair. The rear-view mirror hadn't done it justice apparently because now you could see all the messy details of a half-cut pony tail. 

"It's that bad, huh?" she said apathetically. Izzy sighed and crossed her arms. "I guess you picking me up really was a better deal than Dad."

"Why?" you asked curiously. 

"Dad's overprotective. He'd freak if he saw this. Who knows what'd happen to the kid who did this?" 

"Izzy, I'm sure your father would just report this to the principal."

"Or worse. Dad says he's not afraid to go to jail again."

"..."

"So can we go to the salon and get a haircut? I have enough allowance saved to pay for it myself."

"Sure thing...," you said skeptically. Your brows scrunched at the thought of Levi in jail. 

That was something new. 

\---------------

You obviously didn't make Izzy pay for her haircut but in return, asked her to explain why one of her pigtails was missing. Apparently, the child she hit in the face with the dodgeball the other week decided to get revenge and cut her hair when she wasn't looking. Izzy assured you that she got her revenge by socking him in the stomach, but you were still worried about keeping this a secret from Levi. 

You had already dropped her off home and were now lying down on your couch when the doorbell rang. Standing at the doorstep was former prisoner, Levi Ackerman. 

"What are you doing here?" you asked as he reeled you into his arms and kissed you on the cheek. His breath washed over your neck like the ocean tide, warm, tired, and heavy. 

"I just wanted to stop by on my way home to say thanks."

You placed your hands on his elbow to push him away slightly and then leaned in for another kiss, this one on the lips. It was just a brief touch, like kissing cotton candy but even sweeter...or something stupid like that. Thank goodness it was only Levi who could turn your heart to mush.

You pulled back, slightly flushed, and suddenly remembered that you were apparently dating a criminal. "So I hear you've been to jail?" you half-teased. Part of you reasoned that Levi probably lied to Izzy, but another part of you still considered his past questionable. 

"Nah, that's something I told Izzy to guilt trip her into not getting a boyfriend and forcing me to beat the shit out of him. It's working pretty well."

"Levi, Izzy is 10 years old. The chance she'll get a boyfriend is--"

"--high because guys aim for girls they know are too good for them."

"Pft," you laughed. "Does that include you too?"

"Of course," Levi smirked. 

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pulled him in for another brief kiss. He earned it for that silly line. 

"Why do you ask though?" Levi questioned, his arms squeezing your sides gently. 

"Mm, no reason," you lied with a sweet smile. You then kissed him goodnight and forced him out of your apartment since it was already so late. As Levi left, you wondered if there was anything you could do to help Izzy with her school issue, and then another thought dawned on you. 

...How would Levi react to Izzy's haircut? 

\---------------

_Ding-dong._

Work had finished early again for the second day in a row, and you were standing in front of the Ackerman household. The door swung open, and for a moment, all you saw was the hallway, until you looked down.

"Dad says he's reconsidering his relationship with you because of the haircut."

Izzy was staring up at you with a lolipop in her mouth. 

"Just kidding. He ended up liking it. He probably wouldn't care if you shaved my head bald," she added sarcastically before leaving the door. You supposed this was her way of welcoming you inside. 

"That's because your father is fine as long as you're happy, Izzy. If I did something to your hair that he didn't like, I'm sure he--"

"It doesn't matter," she interrupted. "I hate my red hair anyways. When I'm older, I'm dying it black like Dad's."

"Is that because it resembles your Mom's?" you asked slowly. Your eyes were settled on a small photo frame on a granite stand. In the picture were Levi, a young Izzy, and a woman who you didn't know. Her red hair was full and neat, with the same texture and consistency as Izzy's. 

Izzy stopped walking and turned back to observe you for a few moments before asking, "Are you waiting for my dad or something? He just dropped me home from school, but he won't be back for a while." She lead you inside to the living room area, plopping down on the couch directly in front of the television. The redhead had no interest in answering your question. 

"No," you told her. "I was wondering if I could borrow your school's phone directory." 

She eyed you curiously. "Why?"

"To call up the boy who did a number on your hair of course."

"You don't have to. I already hit him and made him double over."

You bit your lip in trying to figure out how to explain just how serious this issue was. "It's my problem too if it concerns your safety and if you don't want me to tell your dad. You could have been stabbed by accident by your classmate. It's better to deal with these things sooner than later."

Izzy sat up in the couch, her knees hugged against her chest. "Why do you even care?" Izzy asked suspiciously. 

You smiled understandingly and took a seat at the couch near the phone. "Because I had something similar happen to me in the past. I was teased in high school and called a dyke. I thought I could solve it on my own or let it pass with time, but going to my mom for help ended up being the best decision. She took care of it day of. I probably won't sound as scary as my mom did on the phone, but I know how to throw a good threat."

"You're not my mom though..."

She looked downcast, her bangs falling over her forehead and her new short hairdo cupping her cheeks. Izzy was a child who hadn't received the care and concern from a motherly figure. It wasn't anything unexpected that she didn't know how to react to you. And to be honest, you were just as unsure of yourself. But if you truly wanted to be a part of Levi and Izzy's life, you had to take an active role in slowly filling the shoes of a guardian, maybe not a mother but a friend Izzy could talk to, perhaps a female figure she could turn to when she couldn't talk to her father about something. 

You wanted to be in Levi and Izzy's lives without straining their own relationship, so you tread carefully. "I don't have to be your mom to want to help you out, right?" you smiled reassuringly. "You don't have to give me this phonebook if you don't want, but if you don't, I'll have to at least tell your uncle about this so he can handle it."

"No!" Izzy said abruptly. "I mean, Uncle Erwin is always busy, and I don't want to bother him." She jumped off the sofa and searched a cupboard for the phonebook. "If I do this, you won't tell Dad, right?" 

Izzy hesitantly handed you the directory, and you thanked her with a soft smile. "I won't tell your father if I don't think this child is a threat to your safety. That's my only concern, Izzy."

"But why should I trust you?"

"Because I haven't broken your trust yet, right?"

She shook her head. "Guess not...but are you really going to stop him? He's been picking on me and writing random things in my notebook since I moved here." 

"I will. My mom taught me a little bit of lawyer jargon, so it'll be smooth sailing when I tattle on him to his parents." 

And it was because 5 minutes into the call, you could hear one parent scolding their child in the background while the other apologized vigorously to you and Izzy on speaker until they brought their sniffling kid Farlan to the line to apologize too. Izzy's curious eyes stared at you in awe with the way you held a strong voice and dominant personality over the phone. 

You weren't necessarily scary, but you held the authority of a leader, of someone who wouldn't take bullshit. Once you were certain the parents were going to punish their child appropriately, you hung up the phone, and held a high five for Izzy. 

She stared at you strangely and then lightly tapped your hand. A high five was very appropriate for the stuttering mess you turned Farlan, a 10 year old child, into. 

"I say, we go out for ice cream to celebrate. Should I call your dad and ask him?"

Izzy caught your infectious enthusiasm, and before she knew it, she was nodding in agreement. She felt strange but a comforting sort of strange feeling. "I could go for a sundae," she admitted. 

You smiled in return. "Then let's call up your father and let him know."

\---------------

A very tired and exhausted Levi expected a quiet, dark house when he entered at midnight. He had already loosened his tie and folded it over his shoulder, ready to relax and get some sleep. Instead, he found most of the lights switched on and a redhead lying on the couch, playing Bejeweled on her phone. 

"Welcome back, Dad," Izzy grinned, as she turned over on the couch and landed on the floor. She walked over to her father, holding her hands out to take his heavy briefcase for him. 

The corners of Levi's lips turned up in a soft smile as he ruffled her hair. Kneeling down on one knee, he started neatening the loose strands. "You seem especially happy today, brat." 

"Yeah," Izzy agreed. "Did you have a good day?"

"Every day's a good day if you're smiling when I see you," her father said as he stood back up. To a young girl like Izzy, her father was her number one, but affectionate words like these would reassure her that she was her father's number one as well. Before, she had been insecure about your relationship with Levi, and ever since the office incident, she and her father had been spending more time together. 

Izzy remembered your previous words, that her father would be fine as long as his daughter was happy. She wondered if admitting to her father that she had fun with you today was like confessing that she was okay with your and her father's relationship. Would you both get closer and leave her out? 

You didn't do that today, Izzy thought. Today, you went out of your way to help her. Izzy might have been abandoned by her mother, but maybe it was okay to trust that you wouldn't do the same, that you wouldn't steal her father away from her. 

"_____ and I had fun today," Izzy said quietly. 

Her father looked down in surprise, but Izzy looked away shyly. 

"I'm guessing you both didn't save any ice cream for me, huh?" Levi suddenly joked. 

"No but...let's all go together next time."

"Do you really want to?" Levi questioned. This was the first time Izzy had ever wanted to go somewhere with both him and ______. 

Izzy was silent for a moment, her bangs hiding her features until she looked up at her dad. "Yeah. Double the adults, double the ice cream you both buy me," she smiled widely. 

\--------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Next chapter: First time he broke (to be out June 27th because I wanna give myself a small break <3)

i didn't proofread this so PLEASE let me know if there's a mistake! 

YES. FINALLY WE'RE GETTING ANOTHER SERIOUS CHAPTER NEXT. I'm sorry this one was so late though. It was done by June 7th but I wanted to fix it up ._.

God, this next chapter...I FINALLY GET TO BREAK LEVI. THIS IS GREAT. HAHAHA. XD I'm so excited!!!! I feel like my writing has degraded over time, but that's perfectly fine cuz at least the plot makes up for it? :'D

Please leave a comment/feedback if you liked the chapter X3 I really appreciate it! //your words are really motivating for me


	14. Lovely Remedy 13: First time he broke

Chapter 13. First time he broke

His shoulders lifted only to subsequently fall even further, the same way his mind was now falling deeper and deeper into a state that unraveled his core. He was vulnerable in front of you, bare like a child, and it scared you because you thought you were the only one who could fall this far. And yet, he was falling even further. 

\--- A few hours earlier ---

"I guess this place looks okay?" you uttered to yourself. "But hmm, is Levi really a resort person?"

Your laptop screen was overflowing with tabs of possible vacations for you, Levi, and Izzy. You had accumulated a number of vacation days from work and needed to spend them before the end of the year. The timing was perfect now, since the traffic at Trost Pediatrics was slow. Dr. Bott had already told you that he would be able to comfortably run the office if you decided to leave for a week or so. In fact, he was the person who gave you this idea of having a "family vacation."

Was it too early though? Would Izzy even want to go? Hesitation had already paused your vacation search many times before, but the possibility of bonding with both Levi and Izzy pulled through again. Levi had been talking about leaving town for a weekend or so with you, but you really wanted to push for an outing with both of them. It would mostly depend on whether Izzy wanted to go though. Your goal was to be as sensitive as possible to her decisions. She'd been through enough after being abandoned by her mother, and you didn't want to make her feel as if you were stealing her father away. 

The laptop screen reflected off of your tired features, and your eyelids felt heavy with the boredom of a slow office. With no more patients to attend to, you decided to close up early and head home. You dug through your purse once again and sighed at the sight of no text alerts. You were waiting for Levi to respond to the text you'd sent him earlier, but you hadn't heard back from him for more than 3 hours, and that was pretty rare for someone like him who was always obsessed with organization. 

You figured he was probably stuck in a meeting again.

\---------

"And so that concludes our meeting today. Thank you, Mr..."

"Marlow, sir!" the young business man at the end of the table answered quickly. He was filled with the satisfaction of successfully presenting on the financial report of the Smith Hotel branch in Trost, satisfaction that was soon to be torn apart when he saw the manager glaring at him. 

A very frustrated Levi Ackerman briefly closed his eyes, and when he opened them, the young man flinched suddenly. "Thank you, Marlow," Levi emphasized, "for giving a one hour lecture in five fucking hours."

Levi snatched his briefcase and huffed in frustration as he left the meeting room. Why anyone would ever need to speak for five hours was a mystery, but it happened, and Levi was not pleased at all. It was already 11 pm, and he still had to drive to Izzy's grandparents' house to pick her up and take her home. 

His phone was already out of battery, so Levi threw it into his briefcase and locked up his office. On his way out, he stopped by the front desk to remind Oluo once again to not bite his tongue in front of the guests. 

"Petra, make sure he gets his act together." 

Petra nodded kindly to her boss and nudged Oluo in the gut before he could say anything/potentially bite his tongue again. Looking back and forth between the two of them, Levi bid his staff farewell and headed out towards the parking lot. His polished black Camaro sat perfectly within the borders of the parking spot, and Levi quickly got inside and drove off. 

Traffic had already died down by now, and the highway was barren and dead save for the few light posts that turned the pavement a warm orange hue. In a short amount of time, Levi reached the house and parked on the driveway, locking his car as he walked to the front door. He took out a spare key from his pocket and unlocked door. He was expecting to see Izzy's grandmother up late, reading the murder mystery novels she loved so much. Instead, he walked through the dark hallway to see a small lamp at the night stand turned on and her grandmother fast asleep.

"Hey," Levi whispered gently, as not to startle her, "I'm here to pick Izzy up." He lightly shook the elderly woman as she woke up, her eyelids still heavy and her expression a bit dazed. A closed album with a small note sticking out laid on her lap as she sat up. 

"Levi," she said in a solemn, tired voice, one saved for late nights of old memories, "There are some people who can't be helped in life. I think my daughter was one of them."

'So it's an album of Izzy's mom...,' Levi thought as he remained silent, thinking of the right words to say. Ever since she disappeared from everyone's lives, Izzy's mother hadn't kept in contact with anyone, even her own parents. 

"She left because she wanted to be a writer and felt held back. Sometimes I wonder how far she's made it," Levi spoke in a whisper as he sat down next to Izzy's grandmother. "May I see the album?"

"Wait, Levi--" The grandmother quickly grabbed the album away, but it was too late. The small note had already fallen out, and Levi's eyes went wide when he read it.

'Dear Mr. and Mrs. [Last],'

'We regret to inform you of---'

'...the passing of your daughter.'

'shipped her belongings'

'death via overdose.'

'further investigation'

.

.

.

'We are sorry for your loss.'

There was a sudden sharp-shooting pain in Levi's head. "W-what happened...This is...this is for---"

"She was found dead in a shelter from overdosing. I'm sorry. You and Izzy had just moved to Trost when we found out, and we didn't want to---"  
It was too much, all of it. Her voice began to blur and it was then that Levi had a hard time distinguishing between what his head was telling him and what excuses Izzy’s grandmother had to say.

'Why didn't I stop her from leaving?'

'Why weren’t we enough?'

'Wasn’t I enough?'

Piece by piece, everything came crashing down in his mind. It became just a tidal wave of pain. For each little happiness he had found since she left, two more doubts filled his mind to replace the hope he had of ever letting go. Just like the never ending battle he fought trying to convince Izzy that he had enough love for her to replace the missing parent she had in her life, he came to the realization that he barely had enough for himself.

He couldn't love himself, not with the thorn that had been seeping poisonous thoughts into Levi's head for years, words that blamed him for Izzy's mom leaving their family, words that accused him of being a bad partner and driving her away. 

Was it his fault now that she had met the end of her line? At this point, wouldn’t you just be the same as her? Would it be better for you to realize he wasn’t good enough and leave before you could be dragged down?

Finally, he was snapped out of his thoughts as a hand lay on his shoulder. He turned shakily towards Izzy's grandmother. 

"Was her death a suicide?" he asked in a small whisper. He felt weak at his knees, as if all the regrets were pouring out of his soul and weighing on his back, threatening the squish him and his state of mind against the ground until there was nothing left. 

"The police weren't able to determine that...but they found no evidence of suicide and declared it an accidental death," she answered. She stared worriedly into Levi's eyes, helplessly watching his armor fall piece by piece. "Levi, we can take care of Izzy tonight if you need some time to yourself."

Regaining his composure, Levi looked slowly at the elderly woman sitting by his side, his expression becoming unreadable. "Thank you," he said briefly, walking towards the front door. As he started his car and drove away, Levi blinked and then found himself three blocks away already. His mind was lost, unable to focus on what he was doing, where he was going. He didn’t know how much time had passed, if even at all, before he found himself in front of a house which wasn't his own.

Hesitating, he could feel his head spinning. He simply rang the doorbell once, putting little to no effort in bothering to listen for your footsteps or the unlocking of a bolt. Levi only looked up when he heard your voice.

"Levi, I was worried about you because you hadn't answered my...texts..." Your voice drifted as you stared at him quietly, trying to look under his bangs at his eyes because his head was tilted towards the doormat, and you knew there was nothing interesting written there. "Levi, are you okay?"

"I think we need to end this, _______."

As if the devil himself was squeezing on your heart, a pain shot through your body, your eyes watering as you tried to steady your voice. This couldn't be happening, right? "Levi...you're not serious...are you?" You looked to him desperately for answers, but his eyes were hidden in the shadows of his bangs. You tried to touch his arm, but he suddenly pulled away. 

"It's my fault..." 

"Levi, what are you talking about?"

You watched him unravel in front of you as you caught sight of his eyes. They were filled with angry, hot tears that froze you in your place. 

"It's my fault Izzy's mother left us," he said.

"Levi--" You tried to speak to him, but he raised his voice above yours. 

"It's my fault Izzy doesn't have another parent." His eyes were bloodshot, tears already streaming down his cheeks. You'd never seen him like this, and it scared you. The inner demons he tamed long ago were turning on him now, and you were watching them devour his stability. He was drifting further and further away from you, as if he were living in a world of his own, a dark world filled with mistakes that could never be fixed, mistakes that may have cost a life, mistakes that cost so many people happiness. 

And the worst of it all was that he questioned, 'Why am I still here? Why am I still trying to fix my mistakes now? Did I think that I could really find love again? That we could have a happy ending? It'll just be the same. I haven't changed. I haven't--'

"Levi, please talk to me," you pleaded. You were scared to see him in this state, his hands grasping the bangs of his undercut and his face twisted in a pain that you knew nothing about. All you knew was that it was hurting him more than you ever thought anything would, making him more vulnerable than you'd ever seen him. 

"_______," he spoke in a low voice, "you're going to get fed up with me too. I'm going to end up hurting you, aren't I?"

Your ears rang with familiar words. It was like you were staring at a mirror of yourself, the days after your ex cheated on you. The way you thought you were the one who destroyed whatever love you had and carried that regret with you for months--Levi had carried this regret for years. And yet, he had encouraged you to overcome your insecurities. He founds words for you that he could never accept for himself.

He had spoken them with such sincerity that you truly believed him. It was Levi who encouraged you to move forward and find your own strength. And maybe that's what scared you. You could only support Levi. You couldn't find answers for him. You couldn't find courage for him. You could only be there when he needed you, no matter how useless you felt watching him struggle from the sideline.

You'd be there for him the same way he was for you, until Levi was able to find his own remedy.  
\-----------------

END OF SMEXYNESS

Chapter 14: Laid my heart to you (in about a week or so, depending on my work schedule)

God this was a difficult chapter to write. I'm still really into Lovely Remedy, and I hope you all are too, so I wanted to get the emotions in this chapter as real as possible. 

I'm not sure how I did though.

How do you feel about Izzy's mom? Does it surprise you that she died? Someone who emotionally abused their child...I think she might not have had a completely healthy mindset herself. She ran away from her family in pursuit of a dream she had before she got pregnant with Izzy. Do you think that's a fair choice? There's nothing wrong with going after your dreams, but I know my parents have given up on some of their dreams to provide better care for me and my sister. I think it depends on personal values, and there isn't a right answer. If she felt tied down before and free after leaving Izzy and Levi, then who knows. 

I had a lot of help from @kissmeyoufoolfanfict with writing this chapter, so she definitely deserves a ton of my gratitude for finding the right words/description to describe the breakdown Levi had when he found out the news about his ex's death. 

I think this chapter was really full circle. Maybe I said this in chapter 1, "A very "slice of life" fanfiction that revolves around the reader as well as many other characters finding their own lovely remedies. No one's life is perfect, and we all face dilemmas. But in the end, we're the only ones capable of making our own happiness. "

I've been stressing that another person can't fix your problems. It's temporary (in my opinion). The solution really has to come from yourself. Family and friends can support you from the sidelines, but we're the ones walking or running down a certain path, and there's no one who's running by our side, facing the same difficulties we are, tripping, falling, getting back up. 

Those feelings belong to you as an individual...and well, I'm hoping this fanfic has at least some meaning haha. 

And if it doesn't, then I hope it's at least entertaining!

As always, please leave a comment/feedback if you liked the chapter X3 I really appreciate it! //your words are really motivating for me

P.S. if the scene works out, then the next chapter should have the vacation with some sexy scenes haha. I'm looking forward to some light hearted stuff :)


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